On a morning when I cannot seem to wade through the clouds of pressing issues and decisions upon me, I announce to my crew, “Put on your keens & fill your water bottles ’cause we’re off to the forest to feed the fish.”
Driving out of the driveway a bit of the heaviness lifts. I love the colorful home I’ve decorated, the yard we’ve planted, the sandbox & play set we made, and most of all I love the five gifts of live souls dwelling in it with me, my husband included.
But some days, feeding my hungry crew one more meal, doing one more load of laundry, finding homes for the myriad of babydolls, legos, polly pockets and books that lie scattered makes me crazy, and overwhelmed, and frustrated. After all, I didn’t really know what I was signing up for when I became a mother…who does?
At the ripe age of 21, after getting married I was diagnosed with a disease called Multiple Sclerosis that was eating through my nerve coatings and could eventually take away my ability to walk, to use my arms, to see…in essence to live the full life I wanted to live.
Once I regained my health through changing my diet, I emerged with a newfound understanding of what really mattered in my life…and what didn’t. Priorities got shifted, life goals changed, dreams morphed from a hidden place within that I had never given time or space to emerge.
Motherhood~ the creating a little person out of a deep love, the shaping of a soul, nurturing a heart full of wonder, and in awe of God’s big world; the walking, talking, being a family, the children growing to mature adults that would love and serve their Maker with their very lives- yes, this is a legacy I knew I wanted to create. Nursing school would have to wait. Pleasing others and having a job title that would give value in the eyes of my friends and family lost its appeal when faced with possibly not having the health for these deep rooted dreams.
Fast forward a bit and now here I am living my dream….a handful of children, an acre of land to tend, chickens, bees, a bright warm nest of a home to dwell in and I am indeed blessed.
Yet…yet…today I only seem to “see” the messes, the yuck, the grime both in our home and in our hearts. And tired of barking orders & being Mrs. Pouty Pants I set off for some beauty feasting, deep in the Pisgah National Forest at the Fish Hatchery. Feasting on natures bounty has a way of refreshing my soul, bringing JOY to little hearts, slowing time and re-uniting.
Sally Clarkson says it so well in her book The Mom Walk,
I need to remember that I am to lead my children in being a person who celebrates the joy of life. I am to model what it looks like to enjoy God and His creation. Often, in the midst of the duties of life, moms can easily become focused on the right things to do, correcting the immaturity of children, and inadvertently portraying God as a strict moral judge just waiting for them to fall short. It is vital we realize we are a model of God to our children and we must take care that we present His light, beauty, humor, love, and joy. I love this verse in Proverbs: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones”(Proverbs 17:22)
My girls squeal and fish splash their happy dance at being fed, and I remember that I am standing on holy ground in this calling of Motherhood- feeding my own fish that the Father has entrusted to my care this side of heaven.
And suddenly, with the fresh breezes of spring and pink blossoms flying through the air, the glorious task of motherhood seems too good to be true.
What an honor to be the one to fill their hearts- boys and girls alike- with beauty, with nature, with yummy food and living books, with heroes and heroines, with snuggles in my bed and family game nights, with Easter egg hunts and rhythms to our days. YES- this job of mothering, this shaping of souls, is civilizing the next generation! And who is going to watch over this process in my children more than me?
So as they come back for more little pellets of food cupping their hands with sweet “pleases” I chuckle with awe that my Father in heaven has fed and is feeding me- His daughter who often feels inadequate and ill equipped for this task, who stumbles and falls and has to confess and repent. And I in turn, am daily feeding my children whether I am aware of it or not.
Oh, fellow sister, that we would embrace this calling of Motherhood and enjoy feeding the ones in our care! That we would not chase after titles and value and ‘the wind’ and neglect the tending in our own homes. Would you join me this week in watching over the diet we spread before our children?
After all, one day, they are going to have their own fishes and be fish feeders too.
About Amanda Walters
Great post! Thank you!
Thank you! I need the reminder to get out with my children…refreshing my soul in nature! A new perspective and the wind cleaning out the mundane cobwebs in my heart!
Good morning and thank you for sharing! Beautiful!
Your words always encourage me my sweet friend! I love you dearly and wish we could escape our apartment and head out into the woods with you all today. I plan to have a dance party in your honor this afternoon…and to exhibit sheer joy for my children. Thank you.
And we will dance as well!!! In honor of the good things Father births in us through having heart sisters to journey through life with. Thanks for not letting me give up on my love of writing.
Thank you, Amanda! This was just what I needed to read at the start of another busy week. We are blessed beyond measure by our sweet Savior with the joys and trials of motherhood! Here’s to feeding our children well this week with the help of our Provider!
High five friend! Thanks for reading & so glad you were blessed. So thankful to live in the same town with you & get to link arms through literally feeding our crews with our batch cooking!
"Feasting on natures bounty has a way of refreshing my soul, bringing JOY to little hearts, slowing time and re-uniting."
I love this reminder….whenever I feel my soul is empty and dry I go out- take the kids to the woods, the water- to the land. Jesus soothes my heart there, and we all rejoice without effort at the beauty of His Creation. Thank you for this beautiful picture today.
<3 http://www.plane-janes.com
Yes, how awesome it is to have Father ‘soothe our hearts’ in nature! So well said, Laura.
Bless you this week as you love your children well.
Just what I needed to read today! Thank you for sharing!
I loved this!! I can soooo relate to you…many young ones, getting barky, and the beauty/healing that comes from being with the Lord in nature (as an aside, we love camping up in the Pisgah area!! Davidson family campground!), reading living books, enjoying our chickens (and we read all about bees this morning!) and finding JOY instead of being overwhelmed. Thanks for you the encouragement
Hi Aimee- thanks for sharing & reading here! Good to be know I’m not the only one that gets barky & also experiences God’s healing balm in nature. Yes, we LOVE the Davidson campground as well. Take heart today & keep loving loudly the ones in your care!
Thank you for the reminder that all these "little" things we do day after day are important! And kudos to you for heading out to nature – instead of to the TV set!
Girl- its a battle in this age not to turn to that TV…reading about the effects of it helps me to stay grounded in my convictions a bit. Yes, we’ve got to hold onto that these little things do make big things one day. Line upon line, right?!
Wow, this is a beautiful post. Exactly what I needed, of course, and one I think I will revisit often. Thank you. I’m always interested in hearing how other chronically ill mums cope and find hope and light and beauty.
oh my heart needed this today. beautiful
Great job, babe! You rock!
What a great reminder to step back from the "mess" and remember what a precious purpose we have been given. Thanks for the encouragement and motivation. With such little time to instill in these little beings all we want them to know and appreciate it is important to not waste the time we have.
So true, so true. Yet, what a struggle it is to truly step back from the "mess" isn’t it!?! The window of childhood is truly small. I am thankful I have a picture of your precious ones in my heart & mind now after our visit! Your living a beautiful life & are one loving Mama!
Amanda, this was awesome! I loved the practical story of a day that we can all relate to and I loved that you pursued your kids with Gods nature. I can see you and your kids out there and can almost hear your voice friend! Makes me miss you eve more!
This was a great encouragement to me to not chase things that don’t matter. It was beautifully written, as well.
Will be sharing this via fb! Love you guys!
Laura- friend- this means the world coming from you! Thanks & high five to you today for being a forerunner in walking out these dreams/giftings/callings upon our hearts to bless & build up. Enjoy Thailand, today. One day at a time. May you experience Jesus today as the "bedrock on which you stand" today, "the castle in which you live, your rescuing knight" -psalm 144.
This is a great reminder to stay focused on what’s important. I’ve been down (depressed?) so much lately—it’s really hard to get out of the house with six kids (3 are 2 & under!) And we’ve dealt w/lots of sickness and adjusting to life with twins! I used to do better about getting everyone outside, but with all the upheaval it’s been a struggle. However, as a family we recently went to the beach, and it was so refreshing to just be out in nature, playing in sand, splashing in tidal pools, looking for critters. Oh, and I’ve never been to the Fish Hatchery, but now we will definitely put that on our list. My kids would love it–we often visit the Cradle of Forestry. We live in Waynesville, so it’s not too far. Isn’t western North Carolina such a beautiful place to live?
YES- it is a fabulous haven of places to explore (FREE) and yet, I too find myself getting in ruts, (depressed?) and not living life to the full with my crew. I can imagine that it is hard to get out with such little ones- great job taking everyone to the beach!!!- I find that putting on my calendar a simple beauty hunt around the neighborhood or a picnic in the yard really helps me to make it happen so that days on end don’t slip by without feasting on beauty in the outdoors. Bless you sister as you love the ones in your care!!!
I really enjoyed this and can related to so much of it! Do you have a blog as well?
I have been waiting to see your name sited as an author of one of these Momheart posts. Good job, Amanda!
The photos are sweet. So nice to see your little ones.
Your writing is from the heart.
Keep shining.
Love,
Anna
So very beautiful, sweet Amanda. lovely pictures, too. Wish I could be there with you.
Oh Amanda how your words blessed me today. Your story, your life is a miracle and a testimony of God’s grace and goodness. Thank you for how you beautifully portrayed what a gift motherhood truly is. It makes me long all the more for the future little ones God has in store for me to "feed". The trials in this life do help us to see the big picture and not take one single moment for granite!! Thank you for reminding us of that truth. Love you.