My floor is cluttered with remnants of our day as I write. A ballet tutu recently adored during an afternoon of pirouettes hangs from the chair, a sword lays resting after battle, right smack in the middle of my coffee table and puzzle pieces are strewn all across the dining room. I have scoured our counters and floors again and again today, finding homes for interesting objects, filling our shelves with treasures in small swoops.
Even with more tidying waiting for my hands, I am done…I’m weary and mostly mush, but I’m choosing to stop and just stare at the un-ending scene of it all. Part of my mind never quite settles when there are tasks that lay ready, I get almost itchy with a compulsion to make our space look perfect. It can take over me and until I just see one (just one!) clean surface.
Sometimes when I am on my best behavior, I can make a game out of the tasks that come with the keeping of a home. Other times (which I think are more often) I remind myself of that awful nurse in The Velveteen Rabbit. You know, the one who had no love or understanding of the soul and beauty of the nursery? The one who never understood the real magic that lay behind The Skin Horse, the beloved Rabbit or even the mechanical toys. I always looked on her with such pity as a child. Did she even know she had been this close to something so wonderful and so rare and that she had missed it? How dreary to be that type of grown-up.
I don’t want to miss the magic.
So, tonight I’m determined to stare as long as I have to to find the light and joy in these playthings…the kind of light that small hands seem to see so much more quickly. I ‘m determined to learn how to relish in their wonder, to imagine the world the way my children do.
I’m learning slowly how to let the messes nudge out the decor bit by bit, to let the life of paints and play dough and small armies overtake the place where I wish I could prepare dinner. Over and over again, I know I will scoop up the day, it won’t stop. Sometimes I think the chore of cleaning up after four little ones will last forever… but as the wise women in my life assure me, it won’t. (It really won’t, right?)
When this rhythm fades, when this season is gone, I want the light and memory of what these rooms see and hold to linger with me long after make believe has left our home. I want to leave a memory upon the hearts of my babes too; one that whispers of playfulness and imagination and raucous laughter long into their adult lives.
The memory of a mama delighting sticks.
Right now, when my children look like they’ve been dipped in glitter and peanut butter, when they can’t help but leave a trail of legos and string cheese and dollies behind them… I have a chance to open their hearts and to show them that I see. I see the light too, and I want to dance in it with them. And while we twirl, and I hold their hearts in my mama hug, I will show them how to find the Light that is brighter than all others…I will teach them how to bask in the Son that will light their world long after the season of childhood has passed. I will to show them how to let that Light soak deep and change them.
And so as I write, I’m looking at that sword, remembering the way a dragon fell at the hand of my son, and I think it’s going to stay right where it is.
So how do you find light with your children? How do you find ways to dance and delight and giggle?
I just love this! What a beautiful, descriptive picture of our busy days! I too don’t wanna miss that magic!!!
This is fabulous! I too tend to be a clutter-clearer. And I find that with so many, of course, the left-behind-things seem to multiply quite rapidly! For me, the trick is saying yes. "No" is so much easier, so much less messy, you know? But saying yes is a yes for all of us and offers other benefits– gives ME an opportunity to share life and its delights with my children–many of which I’d miss without them. Thanks, friend! I think I’ll leave a few things lying about today, myself.
I totally get the ease of saying no. Oh how how I get it. SO glad we can encourage one another in saying "yes" and being playful. Love you.
"The memory of a mama delighting sticks." I’m writing this on our whiteboard so I remember to delight amidst the chaos.
That is not a bad idea! I might do that myself for the reminder!
This is lovely – insight beautifully expressed.
As a mom of happy, well-adjusted, older teens, I look back, with a kind of longing, for a son’s Lego and Playmobil structures, the winding marble-runs and Brio tracks, the dolls laid out in a home of a young daughters own imagination, and the piles of books and puzzles. Sometimes the request not to move things lasted for weeks at a time (even when I vacuumed!), but those days when I chose to take joy in their creativity and imaginative play, over pride in a spotlessly clean home, are the ones that have left me with memories I hold dear.
Yes, I know – there must be a times in which moms instruct their children in the discipline of order, but the hours when tidying things up stems from irritation and pride – they are best dispensed with. Slain dragons are way more important!
Oh that is such encouragement, Judy! Thank you for sharing here
So lovely to read your writing–like listening to a song. I love you, sweet Kristen, and when I get my head atop the piles, we will talk and plan and pray. Hoping your days have been full of His joy and wisdom. Sending love.
Thank you
And thank you for letting me be a part of sharing my heart in this space! Its such a treasure.
Thanks Kristen for the reminder to savor the daily moments. The days pass quickly and sooner than I ever realized a clean and quieter home returned but oh I long for the little messes and noise indicating the fullness of home. So I am reminded to leave the Barbie house and stuff askew as an opportunity to enjoy my sweet Cayley. Blessings
What a beautiful, beautiful reminder to find the beauty, the wonder, the Light- amidst what I view as "clutter" and "mess". Thank you!
Jessica
Thanks for the sweet post and reminder. I think it is something we all probably struggle with. I want to always cherish these sweet moments… but like you….. I have a hard time "being still" and just absorbing it when there is yet… another task to do. Lately- this is how I cope… I have written down 4 things that are really important to me with my children… and I make sure to do them everyday no matter what! Even if there is a big pile of crayons on the play table, pipe cleaners all over the floor, and puzzle pieces in every room in the house…. EVERYDAY WE:
1. I read them Books
2. We Go Outside
3. I get down on their level and Play together
4. Read the Bible
Making this commitment to myself has seemed to help me- Let the "to do" list go for a few precious moments every day.
we dance. we lighten the mood with music. I laugh and they laugh. I forget the mess (for a bit.)
Always, always, always blessed by your writing. You say so much of what I think and feel, only you say it better!
Thank you as always, for brightening up this space with your inspiring words. Love you!!
I really needed this reminder because a lot of times my OCD over runs me and controls my day instead of letting the twirling and playing of baby dolls fill my day. My daughter,Shelby will be 3 in June and it killed my soul the other day when she had to ASK ME to play with her b/c I was cleaning
. Thank u for this today! ~God bless
This is beautiful, Kristen–expertly written. Thank you for the challenge to enjoy our children!! I will try to do better, ignore more messes and enter into their play.
Amen. We talk and talk and talk about life and books, the dragons and the light. We dance together and play together and learn together. As my blood sugars are declining and my stomach growling we turn on the music and sing and dance until lunch is made and sometimes all the way through lunch time. Some moments I miss it. I miss out on the eye to eye contact they were looking for and I have to pursue them for that special time, that conversation, that story or cuddle or play. Oh, how I don’t want to miss out on delighting in the sticks and baby dolls too.