The above picture resides in a
pretty frame on my bedside table, a scene that makes me smile whenever I look
at it. The people in the
photograph, a tall man and a precious little girl dressed in Colonial dress,
are walking away from the photographer as if in a world of their own.
The man is the grandfather, the
little girl his soul-mate granddaughter, and the photographer is the
grandmother… that being me. The
occasion was our trip to Colonial Williamsburg last September, where we met our
daughter and her family for the loveliest week together.
As I gaze at the image above, I am
reminded of all the events of that week as we traveled from the Midwest to
Virginia to spend time with those whom we love most on this planet… our
daughter, son-in-law, and our five grandchildren. They had driven to our destination from their home in New
England.
Sometimes I look at the pictures of my grandchildren and wonder how in the world I ended up as a grandmother! Oh, I know the obvious… my daughter met
Mr. Right in college and married him and to that marriage came Elisabeth, and
David, and Faith (the little girl holding her grandfather’s hand), and Matthew,
and Anna.
But what I ponder is… where did the
time go? I remember reading Edith
Schaeffer’s books when I was a young wife and thinking how old she was and that she has grandchildren! (Although I admit to thinking that grandchildren must be the nicest of gifts from God).
Before I move on, I must not forget
to include my other blessing… our surprise boy child who was born a little over
a week before his sister’s twelfth birthday. We had been told we probably could not have more
children after our daughter was born.
Our surprise baby is graduating from college this year and getting
married in May… sigh.
When Sally and I had written back
and forth about her dream, which is resulting in this new blog, we talked about
my unique perspective. For one
thing, I am probably older than most of our moms. My writing comes from the “grandmother years”.
I also have another unique
perspective… I had one child attend public schools “Kindergarten through College”
and then homeschooled my very ADHD son (after a few turbulent years in public
schools) until he attended his senior year of high school at the community
college to obtain the advanced math and science classes required for college
admission.
What do I hope to share with you, my
new friends? I know most of you
are in the midst of the child-raising years where sometimes it is hard to “see
the forest for the trees”. When
you are exhausted from sleepless nights and hyperactive five year olds and
whiney little girls and dentist bills and wayward teenagers and impossible
budgets and feeling like there is never enough of you for all that life
demands… there will come a day when you will reap the rewards.
When in conversation with my
children and grandchildren, what I see and hear and feel and touch is the
results of those years. There is a
common vocabulary of books read (for we are a bookish family), movies watched,
music listened to as we drove on the highways and byways, meals prepared, numerous
talks through the years, gentle discipline, tears, laughter, and mostly letting
them know why a life serving Jesus is the best life of all.
I want to assure those in the
trenches of real life Motherhood that indeed it is possible that a day will
come when “your children will rise up and call you blessed”… and give you
chocolate. I am now enjoying the
years when my children are my best of friends.
I must also admit, my friend, that I am one of those grandmothers who love to stop young mothers in the
grocery store and admire the precious children. An older mother who will look at you with a wistful glance
and encourage you to hold fast to each day they are at home for they grow up
ever so fast… and before you know it, you are living the grandmother years.
About Brenda Nuland
Thanks so much for these encouraging words! My boys are still young, but I had them later in life and I often think ahead when they become men. It makes me cherish the moments now when they still want to sit in my lap and are eager to share things with me! I know through people like Sally and yourself that we can still have that best friend relationship when they are adults. Definitely something to look forward to!
I love this post! Thank you!!! Looking forward to hearing more from you, Brenda!
This is so sweet! I want you to know how meaningful it really is to a young mother when an older mother or grandmother compliments your parenting or your precious children when you are grocery shopping or in other public places. It truly warms the heart and is so encouraging.
Brenda, I love your perspective. And I love that you want to share it with us younger mothers "in the trenches". It is such a gift. I feel so light after reading your post and realizing that all my hard work and frustration will pay off! What great encouragement! Thank you!
You do have that unique perspective and are perfectly qualified to speak on the subject. Somehow it makes me very happy knowing that you have this photo on your nightstand. And, may I just say that I love your mention of "whiny" girls? Oh. The worst. Whiny anybody really. ☺
I will second that about the "whiny anybody, really"–no good!
Michael and I joke that Laura is our first grandchild.
We have so much fun with her. I think it has made me realize more and more than my mother years are fleeting……they are nearly half over and the baby years are flying away each day that Laura grows. I’m so glad you will be writing here! You always encourage me!
Brenda,
I am in a unique situation too. A grandmother to one precious almost 2 year old, and a home educating momma still, my youngest being 6 years old! I am seeing the fruit come of all the years and time invested, and it keeps me going!
Glad you are writing here, my friend!
Hi Brenda,
I share your perspective of being a much older homeschooling mom .My youngest is seven now.
Does it get harder as you get closer to the end of these years or have I already forgotten all the struggle
figuring out how to home school .While I’m closer to knowing what I’m trying to achieve I certainly don’t have the energy of a thirty year old in my fifties .
Lovely and hope-filled post. Love the picture. My heart is always encouraged by you, Brenda. Thanks for this.
Love this Brenda. Thank you for bringing your beautiful and life-giving perspective to this space. I love hearing from women who have "gone before", it is so inspiring. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind comments!
I have to admit, when my son was born I thought God had made the first mistake ever. I had a difficult pregnancy and recovery and he was quite the hyperactive child.
But through the years we developed a wonderful relationship and when my daughter moved 1,000 miles away with her family, I fully came to realize the gift God gave me of a "later in life" child. I moved a little slower by the time he was growing up.
I also admit the transition to "just the two of us" has at times been difficult (for me!) but I’m learning to use the extra time for things I couldn’t do before… like finally learning to garden.
I truly believe God puts children in families (whether by birth or adoption) where He knows that child will become the person He wants them to be. As I look back, my children were formed just as much through adversity we went through as they were in good times.
God knew we could never be perfect parents so instead he filled us with a lot of love. Even in those times you want to hide in your room and eat chocolate.
So sweet. I am grateful for your perspective, wisdom, and insight.
Thank you, Brenda. As a 40 year old mom with 3 children under age 6, I feel like the days are already flying by so quickly! Many moms with children the same age as mine are 10-15 years younger than me and I appreciate their different perspectives but I really look forward to yours!
Thank you for this great post! I can’t reminded of these things enough!
Love hearing everyone’s unique journey that the Lord has put them on. It is encouraging to know that we have a unique path that the Lord has laid before us. Let’s all embrace our personal story and live it out for God’s will.
Beautiful post, Ms. Brenda…so glad to see your writing on here!
Keep up the wonderful words!