The grain mill whirs loud, crushing a stream of kernels.
I stand in the kitchen by an open sack, grinding the wheat to bake the bread, to break the fasts. Since the beginning, since the dawn, this, the work of women, the feeding of children.
The sun rises.
And I have to ask it straight out….
Why do I feed my kids scraps off the floor?
I think this, line the loaf pans with sheets of parchment paper. Our youngest, still sleepy, pulls a stool up beside. Shaping the warmth of the bread dough between the palms, I murmur it, laying dough down into loaves “… then tuck the babies into their wee trundle beds…. “ I say this every time we make bread.
“Those pans aren’t really trundle beds, are they?” Littlest laughs, her nose crinkled, ringlets bouncing.
“Yes, they are!” I wink. She shakes her head happy. “And then we spread the blanket up over the cribs and let them rise in sleep.” I pull a warm damp cloth up over the bread pans. I tussle her hair. She giggles.
Bread for babies.
Or scraps?
Littlest peeks under the corner of the damp dishtowel, check on dough rising, and Jesus peels back a bit of me again:
“Stand in line and take your turn.
The children get fed first.
If there’s any left over,
the dogs get it.” ~ Mark 7:27
She turns to me, face framed in tendrils tangled and I look into that upturned face, freshness with a dash of freckle. I brush her cheek: Who gets fed first in this house?
Do the children get fed first, before phone calls and dishes, before errands, emails, ministry, to-do lists, hobbies, cyber-surfing, before all things seen? Does life stand in line behind the young and the needy, take its turn after their hungry souls? Are my children deep nourished?
Nourished with me. With laughter and hugs and shared stories, with music and dancing and poetry and literature and art and nature and wind and sky and all of the God-Glory.
Or do I feed them scraps off the floor?
Some do. The couple who spent all their waking hours in an Internet cafe, gaming in cyber-space — that digital world where they really lived, where they felt most alive — and their baby lay at home starving. And on a day last September, after 12 hours of nurturing their avatar daughter named Anima, pixels on a screen, they came home to find their very real daughter, whom they had never named, dead.
Some children don’t even get scraps.
I wipe off the kitchen counter, the flour dust from the grain mill. The Littlest lays bowls out around the table. And I’d like to keep stories like that on the other side of the planet, the far side of the world. But I catch my reflection in the kitchen window.
And every time an email’s dashed off after dinner and the web lures away from the family, every time a text interrupts a real face here and the work day ebbs away in mindless surfing, who is the one intentionally exiting this world? This place where God’s placed. I abandon people here. Toss them scraps, left overs — or nothing at all. Children can die slow, soundless deaths.
I check the loaves. Turn on the oven.
It isn’t that technology is bad or even that we’re sinful, fallen people. It’s the serpentine forces from the Garden, always seducing to other worlds, worlds that seem better than ours. It’s always the war of the worlds. Virtual reality may seemingly offer the holy grail, but it’s our physical reality that is the holy ground.
She clatters spoons into bowls and I slide loaves into the oven and I’m done with giving life’s bread — time, skills, mama moments — to the dogs: to obsessive housecleaning, to non-encouraging, escapism net-surfing, to empty, temporal busy-work.
I’ve stood in line and this is my one glorious turn to be a mother and the real world is one mighty beautiful place, a place to feed the children first and go hug our men and squeeze-tickle the kids and run free down back lanes, gathering up wildflowers and sun and smiles to nourish the all starving along the way. Dogs can go find for their own bread;
Life’s too exquisite to serve souls discarded left overs.
When I slip the golden loaves out and cut one wide open, the slices steam, whisper of warmth rising.
“Can I get the butter?” the Littlest asks. She’s already running.
And I lather the butter on, and hand her food from my hand.
“You’re the Little Red Hen, Mama!” She laughs. And I close my eyes in smile, me, in this moment, all here.
The work of women matters, a winning for the eternal, and the Little Red Hen Mamas gather chicks, and I stand in the kitchen sun watching butter melt into a slab of whole wheat, even the bread right satisfied.
About Ann Voskamp
Beautiful, as always, dear Ann. This is such a good reminder and one that we must ever keep before us! Thank you.
"This is my one glorious turn to be a mother and the real world is one mighty beautiful place, a place to feed the children first…gathering up wildflowers and sun and smiles…"
Yes! This feeding them with the very best we have in this moment, and in these years, nourishes them, body and soul, and in it there is real joy.
How foolish are our mother hearts – seeking joy in the distractions that feed no one and rob us of joy?
May God graciously help us to ‘feed’ our children well today.
Thank you. Your writing and wisdom always serves as a reminder to embrace what truly matters. Today my little girl and her big good morning grin as she came bounding into my room with her backpack on full of 3 year old treasures brought me joy. Can’t wait to read your new book.
Oh what powerful words to find this morning. So thankful for this, Ann. I needed this perspective, this reminder, to live THIS life not the ones that call temptingly from other spaces. This one life with these children, this husband, this is what deserves my time, my investments, my full undistracted heart. Bless you for this. Love you.
This has struck my heart. Too often yes, I give my children, and my husband the scraps. Thank you for this challenging word to not let this be the case…
This encourages me and breaks me at the same time… Due to my husbands impending retirement from the military, and a very bad back, I have to go to college, after staying home to raise my 3 children. My youngest is 6… And most of the time, I feel a mess. Between going to school, studying, homework, stressing over it all, I am not the Mama I want to be. I feel I have no choice, and I know God knows. But still, it is so hard for the Mama whose heart is as "The Little Red Hen".
As always Ann, you speak nourishment to this soul. Thank you, eternally.
Such a beautiful reminder. Thank you for this. A perfect start to our Monday!
Thank you for this…I never thought of it as giving my children scraps off the floor….oh, how I needed to hear this today.
many moms need this reminder. thank you ann!
Oh, Ann …
sigh.
Beautiful. Convicting. Powerful.
What a wonderful picture (albeit terrifying) of the reality I’ve been struggling with! Once again, dear one, thank you. Eucharisteo.
What a great post. I’m sure all of us in the "bloggy" world- whether reading great blogs or attempting to write one- can often get pulled away from our "real" lives more than we intended to. It is so important for us to set limits and make face time with our families and Jesus more important than any email, text, or google search. Thanks for the reminder.
Beautiful post! Now I’m getting off this computer and spending some time with my little ones. Thank you for this reminder!
This and Sally’s book "Mission of Motherhood" touch my heart today! I am working on this, daily!
I needed to hear this. Thank you, Ann and Sally! With the electronic world we can connect with family and friends, yet with it we also can miss out on connecting with the very most important people in our lives…those in our home. It’s time to reevaluate the use of my time and my electronic habits.
What gave me joy this morning was the "Bye, Mom!" from my youngest who is now a man and in college. The years of mothering children are over so soon.
wonderful, beautiful challenge for mothering…mothers these days have so many more distractions…it will take real intentionality not to get lost among the clamping noise of technology….and amen…the work of a women does matter…we change the world one heart at time. Blessing to you all…
I want to find more back lanes on which to run free.
Thank you, Ann. I needed this.
I am working on one habit a month this year. My habit for April is less time with social media. This post’s timing was obviously from God. Thank you.
"non-encouraging, escapism net-surfing"…ugh. I’m guilty of this. Thanks for the (albeit gentle) kick in the pants. I needed it.
Off to feed my kiddos first. God bless you, Ann!
Thankfulness… it’s something that I forget all too often. I still haven’t made it through One Thousand Gifts… both the reading and the writing of my own. My heart is heavy many days. Today I am thankful for oatmeal… so simple, yet so good for us
As a total side note… I’d love to have Ann’s recipe for her bread
I grind grain at home too, and love baking for my family.
This laid me flat. I want to repent- apologize- take time back for a do-over. I want to be the mom (wife and friend) that is present. Thank you for these words~inspired and God-gifted.
http://www.plane-janes.com
Ann, thank you. I will publicly confess that I spend too much time escaping on the Internet and I have been praying that the Lord will help me be more disciplined. I really appreciate this post and absolutely needed to hear it today–graceful encouragement. Now, I’d better get off this computer
Beautiful Ann. I am really struggling with this area personally, it is a season of busy-ness for us and the kids often get the least of me. Even harder with homeschool since it feels like I am with them all the time, but that’s not the me they really need.
Beautiful Ann. I am really struggling with this area personally, it is a season of busy-ness for us and the kids often get the least of me. Even harder with homeschool since it feels like I am with them all the time, but that’s not the me they really need.
wow so true we often do get caught up with other things like the net and we don’t connect or put others like kids and fam and friends on the back burner thanks Again Ann and Sally . will be saving this post somewhere as a reminder
So beautiful, so convicting. Thank you.
Guessed it was Ann’s writing before I saw author – what beautiful words that encourage me to be a better mama. That is why I come here – to be encouraged, challenged and comforted in my mama days with 4 little ones. The words here soothe my soul and draw me closer to Jesus – clinging to him for grace for each moment and to be present with my children and husband each day. Thank you for this site.
What a wonderful place to grow up, that home you make every day. My babies deserve more than the scraps, too… So let me turn OFF the computer ( not just close the screen) and be fully present for them this afternoon. Ann, you help me be a better mother, and for that I am truly grateful.
Both as a bread-maker and as a mama who sought to feed my children’s hearts and souls with "the finest of wheat," this article speaks to my heart. Thanks, sweet Ann, for serving us through words that capture our hearts. So very thankful for you and for your heart for Him.
Being a strong (almost 100%) intuitive, I find that I am even more lured than most by cyber-escapism or daydreaming my life away. Your book and blog have had a profound effect on my life. You and my (almost 100%) sensing husband have helped me to realize that life is here, and I need to be here, too. There’s a time for daydreaming, and drifting away, but not at the cost of missing these precious people and feeding them crumbs.
There but for the grace of God go I. And I know it. In the loneliness of rural life and raising busy boys and a farmer husband working sun up to sun down, I’m ever so grateful that in my years of little ones, there was no cyberspace to where I could be lured. Yet…those "serpentine forces" will always find a way {if not the internet, there will be something} to pull us away from the "work of women that matters" and I’m convicted of every discarded crumb I may have served. Thank you, Jesus, for grace. Thank you, Ann, for speaking it.
So beautiful and fitting. Thank you for the words from your heart. What a gift He has given you: )
Beautiful, needed words. Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom.
The work of women matters.
I’m Catholic and so many of my sisters feel marginalized by the Church… it saddens me so… I wish every one of them who feels that way could read this post.
So grateful to labor in His garden every day, spreading love and nourishing the souls He has placed in my care.
Thank you, Ann and Sally for this post. I am amazed at Jesus’ love for me today in this very thing. He is using this post to confirm something that just happens to be in relation to my husband instead of my kids. I just recently heard my husband make a comment to the effect, "you just don’t seem to have time for me…I know you are busy…but I just feel like I get leftovers." So for me today, the "scraps off the floor" probably pertain more to my recent posture in serving my husband….which is convicting. I have been served my notice by the above words and his. But how grateful I am that His grace will supply every need to feed my husband the "first slice", fresh and steaming from His oven of bounty. His convictions always come bundled with energy and life! Thank you for speaking the truth. I love you both!
Thank you so very very much. I am blessed and I am grateful to have sat with these words this day. God’s richest blessings on you, Ann.
You have such a gift to be able to fully live in the moments of life as well as write about them. I don’t know what it is like to fully live in this world as I’ve been trying to escape it all my life. This life is hard and I don’t like things to be hard. I seek comfort, pleasure, and happiness, but I will only find those things in Christ, not in my escaping. I know that. But to live it…to practice it…daily. I haven’t been able to do that yet. It takes more than i have. More than I’ve been living. Thank you for helping me see my life for what it is. May God help me to live life.
Love it!
Yes. Encouraging-conviction from you, as God speaks (again). I need to remember life before internet, before all the ‘good’ that replaces the best. I am thankful for encouragement from women I may never see, but my children need encouragement from the woman they see the most. Thank you, sister.
Ann~
Once again, your wonderful, soul-piercing words affect me and make me reflect inwardly. God bless you, sister.
I treasure that you are writing about the seduction of the virtual world. As a retreat leader, I see that people are losing their humanity. The avatar reality makes me sad and I remember favorite words from scripture that help me cope, "Jesus wept." I also recall words of wisdom I heard in Thailand from the Catholic Cardinal there, shared in his homily at Mass in response to his own concern about technology: "Me, I have no (cell) phone. I have ‘heart’ to listen to your voice!" Might we all pray for hearts this Easter, hearts that see and listen and attend. God bless you, Ann. Robin
So gentle, so beautiful, so convicting…thank-you Ann.
What impresses me the most about you, Ann, is that with all the money you have made from your books, etc., you are still very down to earth, you grind wheat to make bread (that’s impressive by itself!!), you hang clothes on the line outside, you home school your children and your life with your family is deliciously simple. You probably have a great organic garden because I noticed more vegetables on the plate in some dinner shots than meat. Plus your kids get up at 5:30 to do chores in the barn! You teach your kids subjects in school that make me wish I was sitting there with them, too. You life is a testament to Christ even with the daily problems you face.
I think this is one of the things that concern me most. Stay at home mom? staying with whom? doing what? A friend once said, If your religion doesn’t work at home, it doesn’t work. It’s easy to be lured away, but we need to be fully here, in body and mind and I find that really hard to do consistently. Thankful for his merciful whispers and redirection. Thankful for you, Ann.
Yes, Ann, I’d also LOVE it if you would share your awesome bread recipe with us. Thank you for moving me to be a better "all-there" mama!
Thank you so much. I don’t have a cell phone, and so often people prompt me to get one, and I feel the desire myself. However, I know if I did, I would be even more unavailable to my 5 lovely children and accessible to everyone else! Living in a city like Vancouver, BC there are so many things already that distract me from my children, pulling me in so many directions, sometimes overwhelmingly. Things like facebook, pinterest, e-mailing, phone calling, coffee times, parties, sport activities, and the list goes on. I like doing all these things, however, they not only take me from my children, but take me from time well spent in the Word with God and time spent with my husband and our family together. I have even been so busy that my kids on some days, have snacked on packaged foods, and at the end of the day felt horrible for this. How is this? What is most important in my life? Lately, I have been trying to figure out this balancing act, and I think what it comes down to is, saying no to things, putting family and God first and being okay with it. Things like, getting off pinterest, facebook at night and preparing nourishing food for my kids. Spending time in the evening with my husband as well as devoting time, uninterrupted to God. Whenever I re-focus and do this, I have always been blessed. This, I know, is what is most important to me. That we as a family glorify God in all we do, God gives life and breath. I want to always be able to nourish my children with God’s Word and not being distracted by trivial, fleeting things. Thank you for always encouraging me Ann! I love your posts, God has blessed you with being able to capture what is on our hearts and bringing them alive.
Thank you Ann, I needed this.
I hardly know how to describe the impact this post had on me. I started reading it and after a few moments I obeyed the voice of God telling me to close the laptop, set it aside and read books with my 5 year old daughter (who was sitting next to me, talking to me all the while). I could not continue reading knowing I was giving her scraps as a result. The irony. So I finished it later. True words, Ann. Thank you.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
thank you with tears overflowing and bursting from the seams of my heart. I have been struggling with the feeling of ‘just’ being the little red hen mother. I have been overwhelmed in the last few weeks of being everything to my family and wanting the best for them. You have just given me great perspective in seeing who I really am for my family.
"Life’s to exquisitie to serve souls discarded leftovers" sums it all up. Who I am and what I am about. An abundance of blessings for you and a gazillion loads more gratitude from me.
XXX
Maureen
Australia
Oh my goodness. This is so timely and so convicting. I have been hearing that I need to live today like it’s the only chance I have to mother my children, the only chance to make an impact for His kingdom. Tomorrow is too late and it never comes. Thank you.
Beautiful. Thank you for the reminder, Ann.
Ann, so glad to see your post and how this will help so many. I am a mother of children from aged 8 to 30. The "empty nest" syndrome was very real to me and I started over. I had twin grandchildren 10 weeks before my youngest son was born. I am blessed beyond blessed to be their mother, his wife…. I have learned so much over my time as a mother and as we grow wiser in our years, our priorities change. For my little man gets his Mommy 1st, the bills, the computer, those things can wait. I see so many "newer" moms getting so upset when things are not perfect..when their child has "spilled their milk"….there is a blessing in that spilled milk! I am usually up "at the crack of dawn" to do the things that have to be done. My little man tells me that he loves the Lord Almighty first and me second….I will gladly take second place. His heart and his love are pure, honest. God is so good.
hello….
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Sorry, not sure what happened to my comment.
I do wonder how you have time to parent while being such a prolific blogger and traveling and such. I work full time and end up with about 10 minutes a week online, with no time to read your or any other posts most weeks.
I also wonder why you use adjectives when you should use adverbs. Not being mean. Just curious.
God bless.
Dear Allison, I’m not sure Ann will have time to come in and comment so I wanted to respond. I can assure you that she’s an extremely conscientious mother who is very intentional with the ways she spends her time. Homeschooling allows her over 1200 additional hours per year with her children than she’d have otherwise, so I’m sure that’s part of her life story. Her writing, of course, is beautiful and has been a blessing to many, so apparently her adjectives are working for her as well as her schedule. We all stand before the Lord for our choices, and are respectful of each mother’s decisions in these arenas. Thank you for taking time to read!