According to the Meyer’s Briggs Personality profile, I
am an INFJ. That means that I have a strong desire to understand people as well as be
understood. An INFJ’s heart’s cry is often “If only I were understood!”
Studying
personalities of people is very fascinating. It is amazing to me to think of
all the types of personality combinations that can be made. But even more so,
that our Lord possesses and understands how each of these work. He created
them!
As
an INFJ, the verses in Psalm 139 give me great comfort:
“O
LORD you have searched me
and
you know me.
You
know when I sit and when I rise
You
perceive my thoughts from afar.
You
discern my going out and my lying down;
You
are familiar with all my ways.
Before
a word is on my tongue
You
know it completely, O LORD.” ~Psalm 139:1-4
When
I am feeling misunderstood, (which, as an INFJ, I do quite often…*smile*) I
will always go to Psalm 139 where I find comfort in knowing that the Lord knows
all of my thoughts and understands me completely and fully. That speaks such
comfort to my soul.
Of
course, since I seek to be
understood, then I also try to understand my children. That is why the
teachings of the “first time obedience” crowd always rubbed me the wrong way.
Yes, I want obedient children. Yes, I want respectful children. Yes, I want all
the things that the first-time obedience formula promises. But in the end what
I really want is to know my children’s hearts like our Lord knows our hearts.
What
does that look like? It involves trying
to know my children and their unique qualities and personalities that the Lord
has given them. I say trying because
I know I will never completely understand my child, and there comes a point
where I have to trust the Lord completely with my child because He know that
child the best and knows the deep places inside them that I could never, ever
reach, no matter how I try.
But
what I am saying includes studying your child. Figuring out the why in their behavior, so you can
figure out the how. Every child is
different, and every child will respond to a different kind of discipline. We
discipline and teach them according to how we want to develop their character.
As a mother of 5 children and a husband I seek to live in understanding with,
it is no easy feat! But I continue to try daily to understand the why of the behavior in my child so I
can figure out the how with the
Lord’s and my husband’s help.
We
should try to probe the roots of our children’s thinking. We should find out
their desires and hopes to get to know them better. It is very easy to get to
know your child. It comes very easily to a mother with a minimal amount of
work.
For
example, one child of mine has a hard time admitting her wrongs. So I make sure
that she gets many times to discuss and admit her wrongs. We talk about those
character issues many times outside of conflict. Other children of mine need
different character issues to work on. One formula does not fit all—for us, and
for our children!
Likewise,
we seek to live in knowledge and understanding with others. We think about
issues that affect our fellow humanity and just because the Christian culture
seems to embrace a view, doesn’t necessarily mean that we do. We seek to
understand others in our community and in our homes.
“I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made….”
Artwork
by Mona Bell “A good book”
About Andrea Birch
