I once took my son to a nursing home just to walk around and visit. It was remarkable to see the way the residents brightened up when they saw a toddling one year old walk past them. Smiles crossed over confused and frustrated faces. It was as if upon seeing a child these people who spend their days confined, waiting, and wandering, were for a moment healed by the joy a baby brings.

One woman even claimed my son was her grandson and took us through the halls introducing us to her friends as her own relatives. She beamed with pride that her “family” had come to visit.

That morning I had prayed for God to use us, lead us, show us someone in need.

About an hour after I prayed, this “home” popped into my mind. Quite honestly, it was the last place I wanted to go. I thought it would be awkward. But I had a feeling the Lord knew better, so we went. And how thankful I am that I trusted. (Unfortunately, there have been many more times I have not followed those promptings.) I left that place overflowing.

Here’s the deal. [Read more...]

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It was the dead of winter in the West Village of New York City the night my first son was born.  He did not enter the world easily, and after almost two days of extreme physical exertion, pain, and sleeplessness , my husband and I were both exhausted. Delirious, really.

The next 72 hours of our hospital stay were a bit of a blur. My family had not yet arrived, and my weak body was not ready to receive visitors. I was uncomfortable and longed for my home.

The doctors decided to keep our baby a few more days, but my husband and I were instructed to check out and make room for others.

Fortunately, a kind nurse took pity, ushering us down a hall to an old room no longer in use.  She said that we would be “off the radar” and that they would call at nursing time.

We ordered Chinese food and pulled up a movie on our computer. There we lay, curled up together on a twin-size hospital bed as the snow fell outside. The room felt cold and dark. My sore body could hardly move.

​When my husband stepped out for a few moments I lay there in the quiet, all alone.

Truthfully, my heart was sinking. I felt trapped.

I mourned the loss of life with just my husband. I already missed the independence and freedom we enjoyed for almost five years.

What I really wanted was to go somewhere with only him and return to normal life.

The pulls and demands of this child held me captive.

Of course I loved our baby beyond belief, and I wasn’t truly wishing him away.  But in those dark moments I was straddling two worlds: the past and the present. I was trying, impossibly, to exist in both. I had to make the final jump.  I had to let go of the old and fully embrace the new.

So I did. And I’ve never prayed so much in my entire life as I did over those next few days, weeks and months.

The nursing pain, the sleepless haze, and war wounds from birth- all tangible reflections of the state of my heart as well. The transition into life with a baby was not quite the smooth, cuddly one I had envisioned.  I longed for the comforts of my old life which possessed some semblance of control.

I prayed through the colic, the seemingly unending crying, and I asked God what I could learn from it all. I clung to his promises.

The Lord was near and words like these from  2 Corinthians came to mind frequently:

“My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness.”

​Little has changed circumstantially since then, but God has graciously been at work in my heart. He has allowed me to feel such fulfillment and joy in this work. I consider each day with my children a priceless treasure.

I sometimes find myself grasping for my former independence. Those moments point me toward the eternal reality that my life is not my own, but Christ’s. I am his. In his grace, he has given me to the devoted service and love of my family – as a wife, and as a mother.

And that’s part of the beautiful and painful journey of motherhood.

It’s about refinement and sacrifice. It’s about recognizing my inability and selfishness, and then pressing hard onward, completely enveloped in His grace.

So today when a trail of little ones follows me into the bathroom at a moment when privacy would be nice, when a tantrum rings out in the grocery store, when the coveted nap time evades us entirely, I still celebrate motherhood.

I celebrate the incredible gifts God has given in these children.

And I celebrate the way he makes me more Christlike by the grace and strength only he can provide.

A common struggle many of us mamas face is in time-management and over-committing ourselves. I’ve found that when I over fill my plate with things God has not asked me to take on, it is my kids and husband who feel the effects of it the most. When I am tired, stressed, and too busy I become harsh and impatient and since I’ve given my energy in other directions, I have none left for the ones I am responsible to care for and who need me most. As the New Year approaches and many of us take time to evaluate our lives and set goals for the upcoming year, I’d like to share the best time management secret I’ve found:

[Read more...]

“And behold, two of
them were going that very day to a village named Emmaus, which was about seven
miles from Jerusalem. And they were talking with each other about all these
things which had taken place. While they were talking and discussing, Jesus
Himself approached and began traveling with them. But their eyes were prevented
from recognizing Him. And He said to them, ‘What are these words that you are
exchanging with one another as you are walking?’ And they stood still, looking
sad.”

Luke 24:13-17

The end of December brings a certain melancholy emotion with
it. Christmas holidays are wrapping up, the trees in our living rooms turning
crunchy, holiday candles burning low. The plates of cookies are dwindling,
visitors are returning home, and the flurry of activity winding down. Moms
often feel they’re entirely spent after several weeks of busy-ness.

This story found in Luke 24 gives us a glimpse into the
lives of two men who had been followers of Jesus. After His crucifixion, they
apparently left Jerusalem and traveled together lamenting about all that had
occurred over the past few days. Their grief is understandable; the Savior they
had loved and probably hoped would change the future of their nation and the
world had been crucified before their eyes, and they were missing Him, unsure
of what was next.

Jesus approaches them—disguised, somehow. He walks and talks
with them, and when He asks what they had been discussing before His arrival,
they stand still and look sad.

I do that, sometimes.

When I lose sight of the fact that Jesus is with me—when I
feel like He’s gone somewhere else, too busy for me, perhaps, or maybe
disappointed in me and focusing His attention elsewhere for the moment—I have a
tendency to stop moving forward. My face becomes downcast. Everyone feels the
effects.

But Jesus … He is there all the time. Just as He was with
the disciples on the road to Emmaus even in their grief, He is near us even
now. That’s what we’ve celebrated all this month—the coming of Jesus, the
Advent of Emmanuel—the One called God With Us! Whether we can see Him or not;
feel Him or not; recognize Him or not. In the valley and on the mountain, the
calm or the storm, He is near.

As this year winds down, friends, may I just encourage you
to take some time to reflect? Sit down with some tea and a candle and your
Bible, somewhere quiet. Read His word to you. Ask Him to speak to your heart,
to reveal Himself, to remind you that He is with you. Because it is true. The
glorious wonder of Christmas; that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us;
that He has sent us a Comforter, the Holy Spirit, Who is in us and with us
every moment of every day; that wonder is true every day of the year. It may be
time to pack up the decorations, but Christmas never need be far from our
hearts if we embrace the truth of His coming and the glory of His staying.
Happy New Year! May it be full of the glory and wonder of everyday moments with
a Savior who is truly Emmanuel!

“Love is patient. Love is kind…” 1 Corinthians 13

I want to be endlessly patient with my children, I really do. But so often growing in patience feels like using the Force. It’s an inaccessible superpower that I don’t seem to be able to master.

I think I need a Yoda – someone to show me the secret to this mysterious thing called patience. Someone to teach me how to harness it and master all of it’s complexities.

I pray that God will help me be better at it. I read books about it. I count to ten and take time outs.

But then I realize, in classic Kat fashion, I am WAY overthinking things.

Patience is actually quite simple. Like ridiculously simple.

As I was getting ready for a trip, recently, and wanting to be very healthy and well rested, I drank lots of water and went to bed earlier for about a week before I was due to leave.

Guess what? I could have been the poster mom for patience. I resolved conflict without breaking a sweat or losing my cool. I smiled compassionately at the exasperated moms at the grocery store while my three children and I sang worship songs and quoted Bible verses as we shopped.

Or something like that.

Here is what I realized: Patience has as much to do with our physical bodies as it does with our emotional and spiritual well being.

It’s silly that I ask God to help me be more patient when I’m staying up until midnight checking Facebook and drinking caffeine all the next day to compensate.

I know making healthy choices isn’t easy. I go back and forth all the time. But I also know that when I am making healthy choices, I am a much more patient, energetic and kind mother.

As we look forward to 2013 and consider our New Year’s Resolutions, remember that exercising and eating healthy doesn’t just impact the way we look, but it more importantly affects the way we behave.

So here are a few SUPER SIMPLE things we can do to help us be more patient moms this year:

Drink water
Fill 4 bottles of water and keep them in the fridge. It takes five minutes (if that!) the night before. Then aim to finish all of them during the day. Most of us reading this are walking around dehydrated. It’s amazing how this simple act will impact our energy, emotions and patience level.

Eat a healthy breakfast
I know it sounds silly, but the food we eat affects how we treat our children. Just like a big Thanksgiving dinner renders us useless and sleepy, a poor breakfast will make us tired and grumpy. Throw in a smoothie or a piece of fruit. Add an egg or whole wheat muffin. Just making a small, simple change can have a huge impact.

Talk Less, Do More
Try to have one on one time each day with each of your children. So much of our children’s misbehaviour can be resolved with a hug or a date night. They want our attention and naturally will resort to any means possible to get it. Just like a starving child needs a full tummy to have the energy to learn. A child starving for attention needs a full heart to grow in wisdom and knowledge.

Walk Daily
Now you may be feeling like I’m adding One. More. Thing. But the beauty of this list is that they all work together. Dave Ramsey calls it the snowball effect. When we are conscious about eating a healthier breakfast and drinking water, we’ll have more energy to go on a daily walk. Going on a daily walk is the perfect way to spend one on one time with our children. We can listen and fill up their attention basket. When their attention basket is full, less patience we need each day.

Read often
We are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. So why not spend time with the most amazing people we can find – through books, sermons, podcasts, audiobooks, and an audio Bible. You will be amazed at how having constant input from inspiring people will affect your attitude and ability to be the mother God made you to be.

I know some of these suggestions are incredibly simple and obvious, but if you’re anything like me, they are not always a part of our daily life. When we make them a priority, we have a strong foundation for our parenting.

2013: This Is Your Year.

The beauty of a New Year is that it is a fresh start, a blank canvas ready for a masterpiece.

“With God all things are possible.” Mt 19:26

By His grace and a few simple, wise choices, this can be the year we become the patient and kind mothers we long to be.