When the Dark Invades

Auguste Toulmouche, The Lost Love

Life is full of disappointments.

I know, I know–it’s a harsh thing to say, especially on Valentine’s Day! We don’t like to admit it, but there it is. Anyone who’s been alive more than … approximately thirty seconds knows it, too–though the newborn babe would have some trouble finding the words! Surely the milk comes too slowly, the air is too cold, the diaper is scratchy. We grow up and the breakfast isn’t ready, it’s raining for the birthday party, the grade is lower than we’d hoped.

Growing up only offers more time for a heart to be slowly battered by troubles great and small.

Friends betray, loves are lost, our gifts are smaller than those around us. And if we do not give our hearts to the Father God for safekeeping; if we are not very careful, the brokenness of a fallen world can plunge us into despair.

It’s been said that “an expectation is a premeditated resentment.”

I suppose in too many ways, that’s true. When we want something and don’t receive it, our hearts hurt, don’t they? And when those disappointments come from those we love, it seems the hit is even stronger. So it’s necessary that we train our eyes to see and our ears to hear all the ringing bits of beauty that are resounding throughout this universe–remnants and glimmers of the very glory of God. It’s the beauty of it all–what comes from God–behind the frustrations that offers us grace we can pour out to others.

Expecting too much of those around us leaves us and them scrambling, striving, failing. We must find our own grace in order to offer it to those we love–and those who are particularly difficult to love.

As I was pondering this idea of laying down expectations the other day, I was struck with a new thought:

Perhaps expectations are not all bad. Perhaps, in fact, it’s when we have gotten to a point of having NO expectations–at all–for anything– that trouble has overwhelmed to the danger point.

It can happen. Our hopes can be knocked down so many times that if we do not take the disappointments to Jesus, if we allow them to pile and pile until His face is clouded, if we hang our heads and no longer look up, no longer see the beauty He has sprinkled all around us, we may not lift our heads again.

If that’s you, sweet friend, might I encourage you to look up today? 

Look to the hills, where your Help comes from–from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Look to the birds of the air, who neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet their heavenly Father feeds them.

Look to the sparrows, who don’t fall to the ground without His notice.

Look to the heavens, which declare the glory of God.

Look to the cross, which displays His heart and great love for you.

Let Him re-awaken your expectation; not in others, but in Him. He will not fail you.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.”~ Psalm 62:5

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Be sure to click over to read Sally’s post on chapter five of Desperate: Light a Candle; Don’t Curse the Darkness. This is the first of a three-part series on battling depression, and I know you won’t want to miss it!