Abundant wisdom plus many benefits are to be had in mentoring relationships. In Titus, Paul encourages Titus to identify the qualified older women who could teach and model godliness to the younger women.
Titus 2:3-5 “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Younger woman desire such a mentor but what’s really involved? What does it take to be a good mentor and exactly what should you as a mentee look for?
Mentees when seeking a spiritual mentor look for some of these qualities:
- She is an “aged woman” – someone that is spiritually mature. However, the criterion is not limited to age. It’s best to seek someone who has walked through the season of life you desire to grow in.
- She exhibits the four virtues’ found in Titus 2 (reverent in how she lives, not slanderous, not addicted to wine = self controlled, teaches what is good = sound doctrine.)
- As a daughter of King Jesus, she is confident in her identity thus has a healthy perspective on life and a strong hope for the future.
- She depends on biblical wisdom more than cultural adages. Proverbs 12:26 “The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.”
- She is authentic, transparent, and willing to share from previous mistakes, personal shortcomings, and valuable lessons learned along the way. She leads by example, serving as a role model you desire to emulate.
- She is an encourager who is able to see your potential.
- She is honest and forthright being able to speak the truth in love, even when it hurts. Proverbs 27:5-6 “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”
- She prays for you plus will hold you accountable in the areas you desire to grow. It’s helpful to have 2-3 accountability questions to measure growth.
- She sets the correct expectations in regards to openness, hospitality and boundaries.
- She makes time to regularly meet and/or connect via Skype, email or telephone. It goes without saying that she is a good listener, keeps your confidence, and is humble, patient, plus hospitable.
It’s with gratitude that I reflect back on the many women who have mentored me. I begin with my sweet mother and then later in life my fabulous mother in law. I thank God every time I think of these women and couples who invested in my life, as I am a life that has been radically changed. Thankfully my daughters have also been blessed with many Godly mentors. My greatest joy and honor has been the privilege to mentor my daughters as God chose me to be their mother and earliest mentor. As a spiritual parent I’ve had the opportunity to mentor numerous younger women and guess what? Mentoring matters. We might always see the immediate impact but I feel confident that one day we will. In fact while writing this article I have had the opportunity to reflect on the many women who have invested in my life, some of whom met with me consistently for a season, others from afar via their books and conferences, and even today I am thankful for my newest accountability partners that have developed as a result of doing ministry together. Remember you are never to young or old to have a mentor and be a mentor. Be sure to take time to not only thank God for these incredible gifts but pick up the phone or send a card thanking those angels who have invested into your life.
In conclusion A good mentor has 1) a heart for God, 2) life experiences, and 3) a love for people. Simply a mentor is being a conduit for Jesus to flow through you into the lives of others. This role could be as a friend, mother, homemaker, or one serving the community.
Is your life a conduit for Jesus to flow through you into other women? Name 2-3 gals you are pouring into, and likewise name those who are pouring into your life? What area of your life do you feel you would most benefit in having a mentor?