Earlier this month I boarded a plane alone with my four children. We were flying home to New York after nine glorious weeks of visiting our extended family in my hometown. Red eye flights always lure me in with their cheap rates and so at about 10 PM, cranky, tired kids in tow, I hugged my daddy tight, braved security checkpoints (the drama!), and we made our way to the gate. Two escalator rides, 5 bagels and 3 juices later, we arrived just in time for my youngest to collapse with her cheeks on the floor exclaiming, “My legs don’t work anymore!” while my son ran his forehead right into a sharp corner resulting in blood, a giant goose-egg and a mild concussion. The wailing was Olympic quality, I promise.
As other passengers looked one with sympathy, pity or the occasional raised eyebrow, others helped me with my bags and even ran to nearby cafes to get ice for my sweet boy. I was so overcome with their kindness and practical help that something in me just burst and I began to cry, right there in the airport. It was a good kind of cry, but I was faced with the reality not just with what was before me in that moment, but also the journey I was embarking on: leaving home once again and raising my babes away from papas and grandmas and aunties and uncles; relying in many ways on new friendships or complete strangers for support.
I write a lot about settling into life away from all I’ve ever known and the joys and challenges that come along with that kind of life, because that is my story- but in a way its the story of us all. At the Mom Heart conferences this year I was surprised by the common theme I kept hearing from women- they feel alone. So many of us it seems feel unstable, unsettled and ache for a deeper, truer kind of community and home.
In Scripture, James writes to encourage the early church and likens them to the 12 tribes of Israel in the Dispersion. This was a time when God’s people had been scattered all over the world by Babylon and Assyria and they longed to return to Jerusalem. God did re-gather his people and bring them home, and James used this illustration to encourage the Church, and even those of us today who are scattered throughout the earth. One day we too will be re-gathered by our Father, but this time, to our heavenly home- the place our hearts ache for. But what are we to do until then? When we feel so alone? When we aren’t sure how to raise our children? When we can no longer sustain the lack of real life interaction because our world is more comfortable living behind screens? James encourages us to live by faith- to ask God, with faith and not doubting for wisdom (God’s discernment and knowledge) to guide us in all things that are practical for this earthly life.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” -James 1: 5-6
To be away from my family, to raise my children on the streets of New York City, to know how to love my husband well, discipline my children, respond to their questions, train qualities in their character, make choices about their education, about what television shows they may watch, what clothes they can wear, what food we should eat- all of it requires living by FAITH.
We say this a lot around here at Mom Heart. This isn’t a place where we’re ever going to tell you how to live under a certain set of rules, or methods or by checking boxes. This is a place to be real and true and even a little messy. Its a place where we want to encourage you to live by faith as a mother, day by day, in your own wilderness, with the assurance that our loving Father will guide you, will lead you, and will one day gather you home.
Faith means simply: to have a settled trust and confidence in God- Knowing his character and his promises. James says that to be secure, to be stable and settled, one must live by faith. To live by faith is to walk with God and know him. Isn’t it amazing that the verse here says that God is generous to us, not with holding, but eager to give us wisdom as we come to him? He longs for us to be settled, even now as we are scattered, and promises to secure us in himself alone.
My prayer is for your settling too. In all the ways you may feel tossed by the sea, in all the ways you may be experiencing doubt. Today, let’s dig in to asking God to grow and build our faith. I’m making a list of the Attributes of God (knowing his character) and writing down his promises – they are all over Scripture. Would you dig along with me? Seek out the Father who longs for us to be settled in him alone ? You can add attributes and promises in the comments and we’ll give Him glory together. May our faith and our trust in him increase as he gives us wisdom for our days as moms,
Until we are home,
Beautifully written! But I wanted to cry for you/with you when I read your experiences…saying your goodbyes (so hard for me to do) and the encounters at the airport. Thank you for the scripture reminders today. May God bless you there in NYC. When our children were growing up, there was a program here in our county where city children from New York would come to families here and experience country life for 2 to 8 weeks, their choice. We have had the joy of doing that and 35 years later, continue to interact with our “adopted daughter” who calls us mother and daddy. We’ve been on the streets in New York. May you experience much wisdom and blessings – and joy! – from our Heavenly Father.
Thats a wonderful idea! I’m sure so many children have been blessed by that experience!
Absolutely beautiful!
Praying for you to feel “home” today. Love you, sweet friend.
Thanks Sally! It really is beginning to feel like it in our new place!
I loved your heart here, and the way you pointed us back to God and His promises. Thank you for your encouragement today. I hope you are enjoying your day in NYC!
Promise for me to lean on today:
“Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be
rewarded,” declares the LORD, “They will return from the land of the enemy.” So there is
hope for your future, declares the LORD. Your children will return to their own land.
Jeremiah 31:16-17
I love that verse in Jeremiah Amanda! It comes right after one of my other favorites Jeremiah 29:7 “But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray on its behalf, for in its welfare, you will find YOUR welfare.”
Thanks for commenting today!
Kristin, I agree, so many of us Mama’s are so far away from our families and many of us have husband’s that need to travel to work hard to provide for their families, therefore making it possible for many to feel alone in our calling as wife and mother. I want to share what my Pastor has been teaching on three main attributes of our Heavenly Father, so that we are convinced to trust God through trails and suffering. They are :
1) He is completely sovereign 2)He is infinite in wisdom. 3) He is perfect in love.(He is good.)
This is all in relation to His providence,our part in it and experiencing and knowing His love. As we go about our days we must not labor in our own strength,but in His.He uses people, events,etc. to accomplish His purpose. He sees what we can not see. We can increase our faith also, but watching others, by expressing Truth through speech or writing, Praying Truth and examine to who or what am I listening too. In those moments when we don’t know what to do,say: I do not know what to do, but my eyes are on you Lord.” The experience you shared solidifies our Heavenly Father providing everything you needed to get you and your sweet babes home. Finally,we need to daily renew our faith in Him everyday, to be like David and preach the Gospel to ourselves, to be strong and let your heart take courage. Value praying Truth! It fuels our faith and trust! I am so thankful for MomHeart and for the encouragement and Truth I receive daily from it’s contributors. Blessings to you!
Thank you so much for this encouragement today! So encouraging to sharpen one another with truth in this place!
Thank you so much for this encouragement today- So good to sharpen one another with Truth!
Thank you, Kristy! (Am I still allowed to call you that?!) I am right there with you on so many levels. And I’m finding another level of stripping away as we prepare to leave our home away from home to go even further into the world. God is gracious and generous. I will take His provision of loving friends over monetary provision any day. (Well except when I want that new pair of shoes!) Thank you for being a voice for so many.
Sure you can! My hubby only calls me that too
LOL Praying for you as you move and leave another home. Sometimes I really think God cares about shoes too 
You are strong and courageous and I know it is because you KNOW our God! Thank you for the reminder that we all need to continue remembering who our God is in the midst of this temporary home away from HOME.
Thanks Charise! I think God has made you to be strong and courageous for the portion he has given you in this season! Praying for you my friend!
I’m not sure if it helps just to hear someone say “I know” – but I do. Sixteen years ago my husband’s work brought us (Australians) to Vancouver, Canada, with a three year old, and a second baby on the way. His work typically took him away about twenty-two days a month, the sky was grey and there were more rainy days than I thought possible, my daughter was born nine weeks early, and both our fathers unexpectedly went to be with Jesus – all during our first eight months here. It was only the God of all-sufficient-grace and comfort then, and still, that enables me to get back on a plane when it’s time to return after rare visits ‘home’ – and it is that same all-sufficient-grace that has sustained me through much loneliness.
Praying for you now – that you will know that His promise is true – His grace IS sufficient in and through all.
Oh Judy, thank you so much. I can not imagine all that you went through. I have personally found that there seems to be even more pruning and more trials after leaving to go out to wherever God has called us- such testing and refining! We have had quite a lot of crises the last two years as well- anything we clung to more than Jesus has been slowly stripped I think, as we have learned to place our dependence on him alone. Praying for you still, in beautiful Vancouver- one of my very favorite cities!
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story,
I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your post. You have endured a lot this past year and with much grace and joy. Thank you for sharing. I am so glad you finally have a place the Kill’s can call home. Praying that your home will be filled with many blessings in the days ahead. You inspire me. Love ya.
Hi, everything is going nicely here and ofcourse every one is sharing data,
that’s in fact excellent, keep up writing.
Your picture reminded me of our nearly 8 years in Chicago, though we come from the opposite end of the world! Absolutely beautiful!!! Your words, and especially the quote from James about asking and receiving God’s wisdom are tested and true in our lives,too.
As a missionary kid, and third culture kid, now adult and Mum; being truly at home in God and Christ, despite the journeying and transitions of life and place, has greatly encouraged and settled me in Him. I have found Paul’s words to the people about their sign, “To the unknown God” in Acts 17:24-28 encouraging: “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. ‘For in Him we live and move and have our being.’”
Only by placing our faith in Christ can we walk by faith and only in God do we find we are truly home, wherever we are on this earth of His. I also love the words in Hebrews about how when we place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour, He brings and builds us into His home/house. Hebrews 3:4-6 “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house, testifying to what would be said in the future. But Christ is faithful as a Son in God’s house. And we are His house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.” I was leading a Bible study on Hebrews for Mums at a Bible College in Sydney, Australia, and God brought these words to my pen – just sharing in case there are any others out there with similarities to me in the hope of encouraging you:
HEBREWS 2:5-3:6 – LIVING BY FAITH
I enter and live by faith
When my eyes grow dim
Fix my thoughts on Jesus Christ
And confess Him.
You are the supreme Apostle,
High Priest, too -
Always faithful, compassionate,
Merciful, sympathetic, true.
The radiance of God’s glory,
Sustaining by Your Word,
You atone for my sin,
Bring me into Your House.
You’re our Maker, great Creator,
All respect to You is due.
Master Builder,
You are worthy of greatest honour,
We honour and worship You.
Christ, You’re faithful as the Son
Over all God’s House
Help us praise and testify for You.
Because of Jesus in our place
We are holy in God’s view
Loving righteousness, not wickedness;
Saved to share God’s goodness -
We are filled with joy and thankfulness!
So we’ll hold on to our courage
And the hope of which we boast:
Jesus, You’re God’s Son,
Yet you’ve made us as Your brothers,
Built us into God’s plan – and into His house.
In You we come Home
Run to freedom from fear,
Life from death,
Eternal surety instead of change and perishing.
Through Christ’s perfect obedience, accrued
We receive help, salvation, inheritance,
Instead of disobedience and punishment deserved.
You are God Almighty, and thankful we are,
Constant, always, our Help You are.
Wonder and worship, praise You we do!
Jesus: merciful, faithful, High Priest,
Destroyer of death and fear
You are surely our hope, in all of our times.
We confess You, our LORD, Builder,
Eternal and True -
I will sing Your praises!
I will trust in You!
I will testify your goodness in all of your world,
I will hold on with courage,
And hope always in You!
Trusting, believing,
Turning to You.
Encouraging others daily in Your Truth.
Holding on firmly ‘til Heaven’s end
Testifying, courageous, my hope and faith in You.
Hearing, obeying,
Yielding softly to God’s voice,
In prayerful dependence
I find peace in trusting You.
Entering with faith in Christ
And submission to Your will,
I resist unbelief, rest confident in You!
- by Alayne Thompson (16 February 2012)
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