There is cheese smushed on my kitchen floor.

Do you know why there is cheese smushed on my kitchen floor?

Because I let my kids eat shredded cheese on the kitchen floor…no plates, no silverware…just straight out of the bag.

Sometimes parenting is just that way.

And sometimes you just need to roll with it so you don’t have a freak out.

Which I almost had today.

But I didn’t.

I keep reminding myself that parenting was never intended to be easy…

or always fun…

or always clean.

Parenting is hard.

Intentional parenting is really hard.

But I want intentional.

I want to do the hard things so that I can one day look back and say, “I didn’t do it perfectly, but I chose to push through. I chose to give myself to the hard work of raising children.”

That’s where it gets hard, doesn’t it?  When we choose to serve our children through the mess and the mundane.  [Read more...]

Her head bows and the tears come as she takes her little hand and covers her crinkled up face.

I stoop low and ask what’s wrong. She takes my hand and says, “Mommy, let’s talk.”

We walk quietly to her bedroom and gently sit on the pink sheets below. In her mature four year old way, she tells me she is sorry for complaining, and that she is having a hard time with it. She says she’s had a rough day. She tells me, through wrinkled expression, how I hurt her feelings.

She is so much like me…sensitive…vulnerable…

I pull her up on my lap and hold her close, her hair tickling my arm, her body warming my mine. I tell her that I struggle with complaining too, and that it is hard to always be positive. I tell her how much I need Jesus because He is the only one who can invade my spirit and change me. I tell her Jesus can change her heart too. She asks me if I love her when she complains. I tell her I will always love her, no matter what, but even more wonderful, Jesus always loves her because she is His.

I forgive her and she forgives me.

I leave her alone on the bed as she takes a few moments to talk to Jesus by herself.

And I thank God for these tender times…the moments she gives me to creep into her heart with compassion and truth and humility and love. The ones where she releases her troubles to me and we, together, release them to Him.

The way she needs me in those moments is the way I need my God. When the day is just too much and I feel like breaking down and losing control and fighting it all, He quiets me. I release my troubles to Him and I know He has compassion on me like I have compassion on her. I know that even though I can’t see him or feel his arms warming me, He is listening…and I feel that in my soul and it warms me from the inside out.

And He helps me.

I remember when I had my little sweet two and half year old and a one year old and was going crazy trying to find things for them to do, especially during the winter months. The days felt so long and boring, and I needed ideas. Back when I wrote for Like a Warm Cup of Coffee, I wrote about my boredom and asked my readers for their suggestions. Below you will find a mix of their wonderful ideas for the long days along with a few of mine. Here we go!

What to Do With Your Toddler During the Long Winter Days

Have them wash dishes (plastic, of course!)

Have them play with cups, bowls, and water!

Bubble milk!

Bubble milk was (and is) a favorite in our house. Just get a cup and put about 1/4 cup of milk into it, set it on a tray, give your babe a straw, and they’ll have fun for a long time. Mix it up by using food coloring to make the milk different colors!

[Read more...]

The sheets feel so soft and the blanket curled up to my neck
keeps me burrowed even after I hear my little ones wake. Their footsteps on the
wood floor make their way to the family room; they’re going to watch cartoons.
I don’t’ want them to start the day watching TV, but did I mention how warm I
was under my ball of blankets? 7:30, I should get up and make breakfast. Instead
I tell the kids to pop in some waffles and eat them plain downstairs while
they’re watching TV. I’m tired, and I don’t want to do the work to meet my
ideals today. Tomorrow I’ll try again.

Tomorrow, or maybe next week, I’ll plan on getting it
together.

I’ll get up earlier, plan healthy snacks, and play dates,
and time for myself to read. I’ll have a cleaning schedule, wine dinners with
friends, and folded smell-good clothes put away fresh from the wash. I will
teach my children well, being consistent in patience and training. I’ll love my
husband and be really good to him. I’ll do better, soon. I’ll be the woman I
really want to be.

But the me in me
carries on. Bleeding out and becoming someone new isn’t an option. Lives roll
over like waves, and I’m rolling, rolling, rolling. I will always have my DNA,
my weaknesses, by strengths, my bents. I am a zebra, and these are my stripes.

Part of the me today is the me of yesterday.

And yet…

There is hope. There is always hope because the me in me is
covered by Him. He’s literally, got
me covered. His beauty under my fallen skin, it’s stretching through me and
changing me and I will be unselfish with His help, with His strength, with Holy
Spirit in me power.

With Holy Spirit power I get up before my babies and I roll
out dough and cut cookies and I sprinkle color into icing. Christmas music
plays, plates are laid on the table, and little ones awake to something better
than T.V.

There He is, sneaking up on me, in me.

I’m still a zebra, but today I’m wearing His stripes.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

1 Corinthians 5:17

By Sarah Mae, SarahMae.com

“Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God…it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 NASB

We were sifting through coats at Target when I saw it, the cutest, most sophisticated little girl coat. I smiled. “Elle, look at this one, isn’t this great! Oh, this is just so cute.” She looked at, half-smiled, and then pointed to the one with the shiny fabric and fur-trim. She like that one? It was so...gaudy. I had images in my mind of Mary Jane shoes and perfectly pressed pea coats. Faux fur must have been dancing around in her head.

This time, I half-smiled. “Are you sure you don’t like this one?” I strongly hinted while practically petting it. Quietly she said, “Yes mommy, that one.”

Immediately that gut-punch feeling took over.

I had pressured her into the one I wanted her to have, and she, wanting to please me, went along with it. I sighed. She thinks liking what I like will please me, and so far, that’s exactly what I was showing her. And it was exactly false.

The truth is, I love her over the moon and back and if faux fur is her thing, than great! Who cares?! Bring on the faux fur!

I am learning how to pull back my strong opinion and instead nurture her as she develops her own tastes. I want her to have the freedom to be who she is, and know that I love her regardless. I want her know that pleasing me does not have take priority over who God made her to be. She is uniquely woven and beautiful, and although I will guide her when necessary, I don’t want her to change for me. I am servant of God, just trying to find my way and figure out who I am through Him. I just want to be and walk in faith as He leads and as He has crafted me. And I want the same for her.

It is a small thing what I think of her.

What matters is what her God thinks of her. She needs to concern herself with His ways and walk in how He crafted her. I’m here to help, offer grace through the journey, love her unconditionally, and teach her to know His way.

But she walks it out.

We all do.

We all must choose to walk by faith, pleasing the only judge, or we walk in fear of what others think of us. I’m choosing faith.

And I’m praying hard that that little faux fur loving girl of mine chooses it is as well.

“The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.” Proverbs 29:25 NASB

Resource: Freedom From People-Pleasing, Part 1

By Sarah Mae, author of 31 Days to Clean

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