Guilty No More!


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Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.  He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

II Corinthians 3:5-6

The dark shadows played upon the window of my bedroom, as the sun set over the mountains. The darkness seemed to match my mood. I remember this day clearly because I felt trapped and wondered if I would truly make it through the rest of the years of my children being at home.

One more move, teens in the house and a little girl who wanted to play with her beany babies, and a hormonal middle-aged mom made for catastrophe.

There were many such days through the journey of motherhood and the fingers pointed at my heart accused me of the inadequacies and failures in my life.

Today, I am writing all the sweet mamas who are in this place and feel alone—as though they are alone in their feelings of guilt.

Do you ever hate reading articles where the writer always seems positive and Pollyannish? (Why? Because it doesn’t seem to match the reality of your own life and experience and it feels saccharine and unreal?)

Do you feel guilty for yelling and becoming angry at your children too often?

Are you regularly immature in front of your children? In marriage, do you become easily frustrated and can’t resist fighting with your spouse that you know you should love?

Do you ever wonder if there is any turning back? If you have been such a failure that it will be impossible to redeem your situation or child or marriage?

Does sadness fill your soul because of a prodigal or rebellious, angry child and you think it was all your fault? [Read more...]

Lack of Training: Desperate Book Club Chapter 6

photo-27 (1)The counter of my kitchen tells the story of my days- pots and pans, stiff noodles that didn’t make it into the disposal after lunch, jelly smeared in one place and peanut buter in a giant glob just waiting to end up on my pants as I’m running out the door. There have been a number of times when I have just wanted to give up cooking, to determine to only order take-out and serve it in sterile styrofoam boxes that can be swept straight into the trash when the children are through. Once when I visited Costco, I spent a full five minutes just gazing at paper cups and paper plates and feeling like a whole new world might just be available to me that would just make my life so.much.easier. 

If I’m honest, many days I just want ease. I know there are parts of my heart that would settle for a paper plate kind of life that doesn’t require too much of me. The problem with this of course is that this kind of living doesn’t give much either. Sometimes I’m just exhausted, but often, I find its hard to rise to the challenges before me in keeping my little nest of a home because my expectations are unreasonably high and I just don’t feel capable. My expectations weren’t shaped for the constant barrage of clutter and mess that would come with having children. My habits did not include doing dishes or laundry or tidying rooms and I learned how to cook on the fly with a lot of help from friends and the Rachel Ray show.  When I look back on the first years of my marriage, I realize my husband must have been cleaning the toilet, because I know I never touched it until our oldest was potty training. [Read more...]

I Was Going to Be THAT Mom, The Nearly Perfect One

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(Can’t see the video? Click here!)
 I had it all figured out; my life, you know. I was excited to be a mom, a hands-on mom, a fun, good mom. I was going to teach and train my babes, spend days enjoying their laughter and curi- ous little minds. We’d bake cookies together, read all day when it rained, play for hours, do crafts, and dance every morning. Oh yes, I knew how it was going to be because I was going to create that picture. The vision was fixed in my mind and my heart, the vision of the woman, wife, and mama I was going to be. The woman who occupied my mind was lipstick and familiar perfume, pancakes and smiles, singing and a gentle voice.

She was up early preparing for the day, all dressed, hair done, cute shoes on. She was kind. And she always had her quiet time as the sun rose, breaking the dark into light . . . she was light. Good, nearly perfect. Oh yes, I would be this woman, the woman that my children needed. [Read more...]

The Mission of Motherhood Chapter Seven


A Strong Friend {Part One}

Jesus said something exceptionally beautiful one day to His disciples:

“Greater love has no one than this; that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:13-15

And so here again, we have Jesus leading the way for us as we seek to mother our children well. While some want to debate and claim “Your children don’t need you to be their friend; they need you to be their parent,” I think Jesus teaches otherwise. The truth is, it’s possible to do both—even necessary to  do both, and certainly desirable to do both if we intend to follow His example.

As Sally says here in chapter seven:

Because people will last through eternity, relationships have eternal significance. The relationships we make and cultivate and nurture will also sustain us throughout all of life’s seasons. The quality of our relationships help determine the level of friendship we can enjoy, the depth of intimacy we can share, the success of our marriages, our ability to work with and influence other people, and even our ability to relate to God. Often our most basic sense of well-being stems from our connectedness and sense of being unconditionally loved by the significant people in our lives. When that sense of love and connection are missing, depression and insecurity result, and the search begins to find someone to fill in the lonely times.

— Sally Clarkson, Mission of Motherhood

Something to read and ponder:

Ephesians 4:2-3 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

– Which adjectives here describe the type of love we’re supposed to extend to other believers—and obviously, by extension, to our families? What might that look like, practically, in your home today?

Something to do:

Make a list of specific, extra-special things you could do that would particularly bless each of your children. Make a commitment to choose and do one or more of them in the next few weeks!

To discuss in the comments:

Let’s brainstorm! If you’re anything like me, you feel like you come at this parenting thing sometimes in the dark. I’m just flat not good at coming up with creative ideas. So … Help a girl out! Share the things that come to mind as you ponder this challenge here, so we can all expand our relationship-building toolboxes!

Today’s Note To Self

God is present here. {Psalm 46}

I will rest in His presence. 

Be Present.

Following his example, I will create for my children an environment in which they are able to rest and trust my presence.

He is present Peace.

Embrace that peace, and share it with my children.

He is present in Spirit.

Do I believe that in the moments when I feel alone?

His presence is enough.

Do I reflect that truth to my little ones?

I was feeling weary the other day.

A good friend sent me a text message encouraging me to remain steadfast, embrace God’s presence, and be present for my children. 

She urged me to persevere and find strength, but not to look for it anywhere else besides Christ who provides it in abundance.

For anyone reading today who is weary, struggling, confused or overwhelmed, I pray the same for you.

Fall back into His arms.

Trust His embrace.

May He grant wisdom and strength.

May the Spirit gently guide and give discernment.

He has entrusted you with your little ones.

He knows them.

He knows you.

Seek Him all day long.

Be joyful because He is with you.

And no matter what you are working through, give thanks, because He is working in you for your good and for His glory.

He is Present.

Letter from the Editor {May}

​  My children are laying out blooms across our table today, sorting them into small bouquets to wrap lovingly in  paper cones and deliver to our neighbors.  The delight of fresh flowers is not lost on me, I never tire of them, and May Day after May Day, I still can’t help but giggle as we surprise those we love with something beautiful. I get knots in my belly and become a little giddy as we ring the doorbell and prepare to greet our friends with love, with something prepared just for them. For the lonely, the shut-in, the overlooked… it seems almost sacred to be the one to herald the news that the Winter has passed and its time to relish in the bounty and splendor of nature that our Creator has laid before us. 

  In many ways, here at Mom Heart, it feels a little like May Day, everyday. We are so honored to be able to bring ‘flowers’ to your door, to share hope and encouragement with you, to prepare a place just for you that is full of life and relationship and most of all, God’s heart and vision for you as a mom. It is a sheer joy and gift to have you spend your time here and to journey together in this online space, and in a movement of Mom Heart groups in homes and churches throughout the world. 

The Happenings in May at Mom Heart

 Groups

This month, we are excited to announce the expanded launch of our Groups Page, with its own articles from Mom Heart group mentors and leaders that we pray will help you with leading your group, discipling other moms, and developing your role  and heart as a mother and as a leader.  We will also be adding a groups database so that you can list your Mom Heart group, or find one to plug into in your area. {Are you shouting “Whoot!” as loud as I am ladies?}   

​  Our book club of The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson will continue to run every Thursday, with wonderful content for reflection and questions for group discussions, lectures from Sally previously only available through DVD purchase and online comments and opportunities to share what God is doing in your own heart as you study his Word and mission for your life as a mom.

Blog

We are so wild about our band of authors, each with a unique passion and personality that they pour out in their writing here and in other spaces where they invest online and in real life. We have cheerleaders and ponderers, poets and conversation starters. ​Have you noticed that as you have gotten to know them?

This month we have asked each of them to share about what it looks like to intentionally consider Leaving a Legacy. The collection of their words weaves a beautiful tapestry for us to behold that shows a picture of leaving a legacy of faith, righteousness and relationship. I’m giddy like its May Day to deliver their words to your door each day. 

We also want to hear from you!

Would you begin to consider what Legacy looks like in your own life? Look for prompts  about Legacy on our Twitter and Facebook page to talk about with your own Mom Heart groups, discuss in our comments or link up here each Friday with your own blog posts. 

I’m so looking forward to all that you have to share,

Kristen