How can a young man keep his way pure?
            By keeping it according to Your word.

With all my heart I have sought You;
            Do not let me wander from Your commandments.

Your word I have treasured in my heart,
            That I may not sin against You.” ~Psalm 119:9-11

I’ve always loved the story of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who, when she visited her cousin Elisabeth who was also miraculously with child, couldn’t stem the tide of scripture and praise that came bubbling up from her young soul. What a picture of being full to overflowing with the Lord (in more ways than one!) and what an example to all of us of what we surely need to be filling our own hearts with.

You’ve probably listened in awe yourself to a child reciting scripture at some point–whether at some church awards ceremony, a homeschool event, or maybe at the end of your local VBS week. It’s pretty awe-inspiring to hear little lips quoting verses, passages, even chapters! And recently Ann Voskamp, Beth Moore and many others have spearheaded movements among many adults to follow the little one’s example–a wonderful reminder, to be sure. Why is it, I wonder, that we encourage our children to do so many things we ourselves don’t do? Ahhh, but that’s another post.  

When my older children were younger children (it seems many moons ago!) memorizing scripture was part of our homeschool curriculum planning guide, and so it was quite easy to remember to actually do it (ahem). Life has gotten topsy-turvy since then, and I’m sorry to say that memorizing scripture has been moved to a back burner. I thought perhaps some of you sweet mamas out there might also need some encouragement and ideas to help you as you endeavor to add scripture memory to your own family habits, so here are a few tips and thoughts from our house to help along the way!

1. Combine Scripture with Mealtimes

This is a great habit to get into: make mealtimes scripture times!

Since you sit down to eat three times a day, combining memorization with mealtimes is a wonderful way to make sure scripture time really HAPPENS. What I’ve found very simple is to write out the passage we are working on and put it in our dining room area. You could use a large sheet of posterboard (or several!), a chalkboard or whiteboard, a corkboard you can pin sheets of paper to–just something large enough for everyone to see. I usually print the passage, so even the young readers can follow along; even non-readers are benefiting by hearing the words read aloud and listening to the cadence and beauty of the passage–and will remember more than you can imagine! Our habit was to read the passage before each meal, so three times a day we all quoted it together. Our family memorized all of Isaiah 61 and numerous other passages when they were quite young in this simple, not-too-time-consuming way!

2. Make it Part of their Handwriting Practice.

Copying beautiful words beautifully is a wonderful way to lock those words into young brains. What better to spend time on? You could even give each child a special blank book in which to keep their efforts.

3. Add A Melody.

This is something I learned from Pam Tebow many, many years ago when I listened to her speak to a group of young moms. She shared how her family would set scripture to music–just make up their own melody lines for each one. Somehow, singing helped those verses stick. We memorized verses like “…we should no longer be slaves to sin, for he who has died is free from sin. Now, if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him” (Romans 6:6-8) nearly 14 years ago–and it’s still locked in my memory as a little song! Try it yourself; young children especially love a chance to make up their own tunes and will probably really enjoy this.

4. Add Some Hand Motions.

Action added to words seems to have a similar “hook” effect when it comes to memorizing scripture! See if there are actions you can come up with together that seem to fit the words …

“Blessed (clap) is the man that walketh (step like you’re walking!) not (say very adamantly, and “chop” hands down and apart like you’re saying “no way!”)

In the counsel of the ungodly (furrow your brow, use your index fingers to make horns, and kindof crouch down–silly, right?).

Nor standeth (bring your legs together straight and stand like a soldier) in the way of sinners,

Nor sitteth (pretend to sit down) in the seat of the scornful (cover your mouth and pretend to laugh and point.)” Psalm 1:1

I could go on, because this one is still lodged in my mind, too, after many years–but you get the idea!

Memorizing scripture as a family is a great way to make memories and help your children hide His word in their hearts!

I play tennis.

Post-kids, I play a couple times a year. But there was a season in life when I played ALL. THE. TIME

I was possibly a bit obsessive.

My family stayed in a condo every year for the 4th of July. They’d head to the water. I’d hit the courts. By myself.

There wasn’t a backboard to hit against, so I’d pick up a ball and hit a cross court forehand. I’d pick up another ball and hit a forehand down the line. On and on. Different shots. One at a time.

Then I’d go and pick them all up. For three or four hours, I’d do this. All weekend long.

Like I said, obsessive.

One year there was an older lady who saw me playing, had pity on me and asked if I wanted to play a match.

Well, sure. I’ll try to go easy on you, nice little lady who is about to eat my dust.

I’m not competitive. Obviously.

A funny thing happened, though. She worked me like a puppet on a string. She stood in one spot, yawning, while she ran me like an errand girl from one sideline to the next.

I was perplexed. Obviously, I was “trying harder” than she was. Why was she destroying me?

Wisdom.

She knew the game better. She knew exactly where to hit the ball. She knew what I was thinking. She knew exactly how much energy she needed to expend.

I was a fast. I was serious. I tried hard. She was sweet, wise and beat me without breaking a sweat.

Wisdom

Somehow I’ve always lived in the delusion that if I just TRY HARDER I’ll be a better mom.

“Stop getting frustrated, KAT!”
“Be nicer, KAT!”
“Do crafty things, KAT!”
“Stop getting frustrated, KAT!” (Oh, did I already say that? Well…)
“Be more patient, KAT!”

Just TRY HARDER, Kat!

It’s similar to beating your head against a wall. And just about as productive.

I can “try hard” to be a good mom until I turn blue in the face and I probably won’t change much. But if I pursue wisdom, one book, one chapter, one lesson, one prayer at a time, I will change.

We can reinvent the wheel or we can simply buy one and read it. The most powerful mothering skill is to glean knowledge from those more experienced than us.

Where do you turn for wisdom as a mom? What are some of your favorite resources?

“Stop Doubting and Believe” John 20:27

Recently I have been reading  a delightful old book to my son, Jack,  called “Sir Knight of the Splendid Way.” It is one of our favorites that I have found myself wanting to re-read to him so he would remember it. I always come away from reading it inspired to know God better and to trust Him more. It’s an allegory that describes the Christian walk. Our hero is Sir Constant, a knight of the Kings Service who is on a journey to The City of the Great King, which is Heaven. He encounters many dangers and toils along his journey.

In this particular chapter, our knight is weary from his recent battles. He is tired and worn out. It is then that a visitor comes to him, The Grey Questioner. Sir Constant did not realize that he was in any imminent danger, but little did he know that here was a deadly foe, an enemy that wanted to destroy him.

The Grey Questioner began to ask him questions that caused him to doubt whether or not he will ever reach the City of the Great King, he made him wonder if he was really able to complete his quest. He  raised questions that made the knight doubt what he knew to be true about The Great King, which is Jesus.

The Questioner offered him a shortcut that he said leads to the City. This shortcut was to go across the Sea of Mists in a boat with the visitor. When he finally realized he was being deceived, he drew his sword and tried to strike his opponent, only to see his  opponent had retreated. He soon found himself stranded in the middle of the sea and engulfed in a deadly mist, unable to see the shore.

Sir Constant initially did not know what to do, then he turned his eyes away from the dark mist of the sea and looked up at the stars. As he was looking up at the stars, he began to see them take the form of the Name of the Great King, Jesus. It was then that he could focus more on the name and power of Jesus and less on the danger that was all around him. As he thought about Jesus, the mists became less and less and he could see the shore and the emblem of the Great King, a tall cross set upon a little hill.

He saw his Master walking along the shore, waiting for him, for the he had known the guile of the Grey Questioner and the terror of the Sea of Mists and was waiting to help the knight make it to safety. When our knight saw his Master, he ran to him and was received in love with no words of rebuke.

This is our Jesus. He is always waiting for us.  The tactics of the Grey Questioner, which is Satan, are very familiar to Jesus.  Just like the visitor came to Sir Knight when he was weak, Satan came to Jesus when he was hungry and tired.

The Great Deceiver will come to us when we are weary, tired and wanting to give up on the work that our King has called us to do.

He will tell you that you are not a good Mom, that you are going to ruin your kids. He will make you worry that your kids will rebel so you will treat them like rebels.

He will speak of all of your husbands shortcomings and make you doubt your love for him.

He will cause division between you and your friends by pointing out all of their little annoying habits and causing senseless quarrels.

Do not listen to him. Keep your thoughts on Jesus and the power of His name. When you are engulfed in the Sea of Unbelief, go to God. Press into Him and His Word. Write verses of truth on little cards and keep them all around your house. Say the verses out loud. Claim the truth in the Word of God in your heart and mind.

When I was a new Christian, I struggled with doubt quite a bit so I made a cassette tape with many verses of faith and played the over and over each day as I got dressed and when driving  in my car.

Pray for God to “Deliver you from the evil one,”  for protection against Satan.

Walk with your God in faith knowing that “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24. God will help you and give you everything you need to do what He has called you to do.

Beloved, may we all learn to trust Jesus more and more.

We had been looking forward to Mary’s games all week. Our family had special plans to see Mary play then go out for a nice dinner together which for a big family is a big deal…at least financially. My oldest daughter was bringing her boyfriend. My mom and step dad were coming. I had two of the younger children with me. We even brought the puppy, which we regretted by the second inning of the first game:)

As a single working mom it has been hard to make a lot of Mary’s games as they are typically during the busiest part of my work day. So this was a treat all the way around.

Mary didn’t play the first game, which was unusual, but we enjoyed the game anyway expecting her to start game two. Up to this point, Mary had only sat out on college game as a freshman due to an injury. When she didn’t play game two either, we were disappointed but supported the team nonetheless. As a mom, I was dreading that dinner as I knew how upset Mary would be.

It didn’t help any that they lost both games.  I watched Mary jump right into after game duties as a team captain, raking the pitching areas and putting things away.

I saw her walk over and speak to both coaches before exiting the field. I prayed diligently for the words to comfort her.  She made it to the car before breaking down in tears. I listened as she relayed her frustration and lack of understanding at the coach’s decisions. Upon questioning the coach, the coach responded,  ”Nothing was wrong, she didn’t need to do anything any different, and keep working hard.”

I tried to encourage my Mary that at least she had not fallen short and had some great feat to conquer to be better. I made a mental note that I hate performance based situations and to steer my kids toward basketball as players are rotated out more regularly. And the game is faster paced.

My attempted words of comfort fell on deaf ears. She got into her own car to meet us at the restaurant. No one brought it up over dinner. Sitting across from  Mary, I sensed her decompressing as she settled into the love of our family. She was safe and valued and her life mattered to us. We laughed together, ate way too much, and said our goodbyes as she drove back to campus.

Before bed, my heart was still heavy. I knew Mary was alone in her dorm room with all those thoughts swarming around in her head along with feelings of doubt, insecurity, even anger. I reached out via text and said…

“Mary, I’ve been thinking a lot about today, about the sovereignty of God, and about how He controls everything….even who plays. Although I don’t understand it, there is some reason you weren’t supposed to play today. Maybe God wants you to know we love YOU and just enjoy the game.  I really don’t know but I trust Him and hope you can too.”

I will probably always stick to teaching preschoolers at church, who often only need a hug or a band aid. Yet, we need to be ready, as moms, with an answer for why we believe what we believe. Our older children are counting on our faith to remain strong as they face life’s hardships.

Be strong, stay strong, and finish strong.

He is our strength..our ever present help in time of trouble. Psalm 46:1

In His Strength,

Pam

It’s late at night and I’ve just returned from a visit to an Urgent Care center with my son who was showing some troubling symptoms. On my way there, one of my close friends got wind of what was happening and within moments of sitting down in the waiting room, my phone started beeping repeatedly with new text messages.

Several of my friends had been put on alert and were praying, sending kind words, and offering all kinds of help. That’s just how they are. God has graciously supplied irreplaceable girls in my life.

The crushing part is that as I type, I’m sitting here surrounded by boxes. Our family is moving in a few days and, after four such moves in the last eight years, I know well the effect distance can have on friendships. They will still be some of my dearest friends, but the nature of our relationships will most likely change. Though I have no doubt new and wonderful friendships await where we’re going,  it’s an honor to carry memories of these ladies with me.

From childhood through the present, incredible girls have impacted and changed my life. Varying personalities and unique qualities contribute to the beautiful tapestry of relationships. The makings of deep friendship can be summed up in many ways, but here are a few things I’ve learned from those nearest to me.

1.      Tear Down Walls

Fortresses and fences won’t foster friendship. False appearances of perfection keep others at arm’s length. Authenticity invites. When we let people into our world we find we’re actually dealing with a lot of the same stuff. No one has a perfect marriage, and certainly not perfect children. We aren’t all master chefs, we struggle with budgets, and we get frustrated too easily. We all have junk drawers and laundry piles. Some of us are even dealing with really serious issues. Our commitment to authenticity will determine the depth of our relationships.

2.      Build Up Trust

When we tear down walls and stop doing everything we can to block the view to our shortcomings, we are better able to pray for and encourage one another. When we offer humility instead of guarded pride, trust grows. And trust protects. It provides words that heal rather than hurt. It speaks life-giving words, especially behind another’s back.

We plant seeds of trust in the way we love our friend, as well as her family. The genuine love and interest my friends show towards my children is such a gift.

3.      Check In and Check Often

Relationships thrive when thoughts of care turn in to acts of care. My friends are superstars in this area. They check in after a doctor’s appointment to see how it went, they leave cups of coffee on the front porch after a string of sick days. They pray over job interviews. They pick up groceries. They send a message just to see how the day is going. They email funny YouTube videos and great articles. Setting aside moments to express care and consideration makes all the difference.

4.      Support Individuality

When we recognize that God has gifted us each uniquely and specifically, it frees us to rejoice in our friends’ victories rather than succumbing to jealousy. Know your friends’ areas of giftedness and encourage them. Support their businesses or their talents. Be their cheerleader.

5.      Look Outside the Box

Find the friendless. Scheme together with your friends about ways to help in your community. I know this is easier said than done, but give it your best shot. Pool your ideas and resources. Think of ways to involve your children. This works better when done together.

If someone feels compelled toward a cause or an area of service, support her. If she’s adopting or fostering, join her emotionally and financially.  If there’s a necessary expense too hard for one family to shoulder, join together sacrificially as a community and help meet that need.

6.      Offer Grace

Unavoidably, we will fail each other. Sometimes our default is to shut down immediately and assume we just might not be compatible. But remember, no friendship is perfect this side of heaven. Live the beauty of forgiveness.

If friends are spending meaningful time together as families, parenting will be done before an audience. Our children will hurt each other’s feelings. Offer grace. Recognize that all children are unique, so parenting will reflect that.

7.      Spur On

Point each other back to Jesus always. His wisdom is best, even when we think our’s is pretty great.

Embracing attitudes of thankfulness is a game-changer. Our time together should never turn in to gripe-fests about our kids or husbands or our thankless work. Building and cultivating an atmosphere of genuine gratitude helps point us back to Christ.

So, What Next?

If you’re reading this with a pang of sadness that such friendships are lacking in your life, I’m about to be right there with you, friend.

But let’s not lose heart. Let’s pray for God-glorifying women to enter into our lives. Let’s be friends by making the first move. Let’s not allow insecurities to rob us of the joys of community. Let’s make a call, send an email, and invite someone over. Of course, we won’t always find our best friend immediately, but let’s not give in to self-pity. Let’s keep on praying, loving and pursuing.

Our friends sending us off with prayer

I Samuel 1:27 “For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:”

Whether you are a mother through birth or adoption, whether God has allowed you to be a stepmother or foster mom, or God has added to your family through children-in-law, or just as a mentor and lover of other people’s children…

We here at Mom Heart want to wish you a Happy Mothers Day and let you know that YOU matter to the precious children placed in your care.  On their behalf, thank you for what to do to invest in the next generation!

Photo Credit: Doug Reynolds Photography, Savannah, Georgia

Those who made me a mother–Sarah, 29; Nathan, 24; Joy, 18; Joel, 26

(This is one of my favorite pictures with all four in the mountains on our yearly family day!)

As I look upon the landscape of our culture, more than anything else, adults who love God with all of their hearts, who practice righteousness, who have a heart to reach others, who stand strong against the moral battles of this day, are what is most desperately needed in our world. God intended for righteousness to be passed on from one generation to the next by discipling those children who would become these adults. It would be they would effectively  pass on God’s Kingdom messages and values and loyal allegiance to Him to those in their own generation. The key to building healthy, godly souls comes from growing to maturity in a home where this life of Christ is lived, breathed and taught.

Mothers were God’s finest idea of how such a legacy would be passed on each generation. Mothers were designed by Him to shape and influence the hearts of children who would become the next generation of godly leaders in the sanctuary of their own homes. Mothers have the capacity to inspire messages of truth and hope, to model love and servant leadership, to build mental and academic strength by overseeing the education of her children, to lead in faith and to build a haven of all that is good, true and beautiful.

Satan would love to obscure such an important calling so that generations could not be so well built. He would diminish marriage, having children, family, our walk with God and loyal love, the glue that holds all of these relationships together.

Yet, this is exactly why it is so important that mothers today receive instruction, encouragement, support and wisdom so that they can continue this great calling in their lifetime, so that history will mark her investment by the lives her children are enabled to lead.

As I approach my 60th birthday this summer, I have had to evaluate all of the wonderful blessings, experiences and accomplishments God has strewn across my path. However, I would say, one of my most fulfilling works of life, more of a blessing than I would ever have imagined, is to have built with Clay, these wonderful children into godly adults. What blessing and love God had in mind when He gifted me my children as the best work of faith I will probably ever do!

My prayer for you, this mother’s day, is that you will embrace your eternally significant role, and that you will know just how much your children are hoping you will be faithful to God. Your faithfulness insures that they may be trained in spiritual strength, moral excellence and the influence of righteousness. I pray that every day, you will have vision for understanding how very much each day of your faithful serving as a mom matters to God and to His wonderful plan to create us for this role.

I wish each of you a blessed Mother’s day. I pray my books will be of great encouragement and give you hope and confidence to become the mom He created you to be. May He bless and bless each of you with wisdom, strength and great joy! Read the Rest at I Take Joy and enter the Mother’s Day Giveaway Below.

And tell us, what book in the giveaway is your favorite? Why? We’re highlighting YOUR words all weekend long on Facebook and Twitter.

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Just like a musician is trained to hear the subtleties of music, I want to “train” her ears to know which voice to listen to and which ones to ignore.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27

Part of that training is making sure she hears God’s Word. At an early age I want her to be listening to God’s Word. I play songs in my car that are Bible verses put to music. (I personally LOVE the Seeds Worship songs) We sing songs together at home and her older sisters especially love teaching her new songs they have learned in Sunday school. Though Brinnley is only 21 months and therefore can’t fully participate because she can’t say all the words, she tries her hardest to sing along and it’s such a joy for all of us to watch. 
 

What words are you whispering into your children’s ears and how are you training them to listen to God’s voice?

Love God Greatly!

The black and white rerun flashed and flickered on the television set and by the time the credits were running, my mind was on another path – connected thoughts, but very different. The classic show was The Lone Ranger; my thoughts were about us, as moms.

You see, every store I go into, every playground I walk past, every restaurant I eat in; they are there. Moms, seemingly alone, looking sad or overwhelmed or at best, tired.

This shouldn’t be – God made us for relationship, and we need each other in this day and age more than ever before. There should not be ANY “Lone Ranger” moms out there because that was not God’s design or intention when he created us.

There is not a role that is more rewarding and over-taxing at the same time, than that of motherhood. And there seems nothing the enemy likes more than ensuring we are left on our own, even if only the way it “feels” at the moment. Precious and wise mentor, Sally Clarkson, said it best, when she reminded us, “A mother left alone in her own home is a target for the enemy.”

It’s true, mom, we can’t think we are above temptation, depression or tragic mistakes; it’s vital to our own health and the welfare of our families that we build and cultivate godly friendships. It doesn’t matter whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, we all need a shoulder to cry on and an ear that will listen – this precious treasure that can be found in other moms will not only keep us on the straight and narrow, it will breathe joy into the potential mundane and overwhelming moments that we will face as moms.

How is it that I discover over and over that I don’t need to “fix” my circumstances, I need only to recognize I’m not the only one who has gone through this before? That’s why we need other moms.

We must have real, life-giving friendships that will feed our souls and strengthen our hearts. Facebook, Twitter, and every other new-fangled social network out there is not a substitute for the real thing – in fact, sometimes those avenues can beckon us deeper into feelings of failure than elevating us to plateaus of peace.

So what if you’re the new mom on the block? What if you don’t have a friend like that? Oh, mom, I’ve been there – I know how lonely tastes, feels and looks – and now is the time to reach out in simple places and ask God to direct your efforts. It may be another mom who looks lonely in the nursery, it may be a quiet neighbor down the street; wherever you see the smallest flicker of potential, YOU take the first step, plant the first seed and ask God to make something grow (don’t worry about your personality, push yourself through the door or down the street – you’ll be glad you did).

God desires for you to have a friend with whom you can connect even more than you do. And never forget, He is that friend when all is good and when all seems dark. You are NEVER alone.

So pack away the white horse and the black mask and determine you will not be one of those “Lone Ranger” moms another day longer! Enjoy the realness of friendship that is waiting for you out there.

 

You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Titus 2: 1-5

As I sat in the conference room at the North Carolina Mom Heart conference, listening to Sally speak, I thought to myself: “Why am I at a conference to learn about being a mom?” When did this happen? Mothers in the 1850s didn’t need to attend conferences to learn how to mother more effectively. They were more interested in keeping their families fed than thinking about more effective ways to discipline. They learned that from their mothers. And their mothers learned from their mothers. I believe it was a very instinctual thing to raise their children. There was not a need to be trained to be a more effective mother. It just happened very naturally.

The culture has changed. All families are not the same. The moral landscape of where we live is so varied. In this day we truly have to fight for what God purposed.

“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.”

~Colossians 2:8

The world is changing faster and faster every day. If we don’t keep in step with the principles of Christ, then we will be ultimately and easily deceived by the world. Thus, because of the ever changing and fast changing landscape of our world, it makes it all the more important to renew our minds with scripture and also with wise teachers such as at Mom Heart conferences in this day in age.

Why Titus 2?

Why the need for Titus 2? It seems that intentional “mentoring” of women is a relatively new and modern practice. We have to seek out mentors in our lives, because unfortunately it is not happening naturally in our culture.

As I said earlier, families are very different in our culture. There is also information overload. We have to fight for God’s original design in marriages and families. I ask myself: “Why do I have to seek out a mentor?” It seems so “inorganic” so “uninstinctual”. Did mothers in the 1850s go to other women and ask them “will you be my mentor?” Maybe, maybe not. But there is a definite need in this day in age to do that.

What can we do?

As mothers, what can we do? Here…now? We can teach our daughters. We can teach someone younger than us. We can look for mentors and learn from them.

Who can we mother?

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language definition of “mothering” is:

To give birth to…to create and care for; instigate and carry through. To watch over, nourish and protect.

We look for others to mother because it is a way of discipling others. And Jesus called us to “go and make disciples”. (Matthew 28:19)

Do we have to have biological or adopted children to mother others? No, we do not. Look today who you can learn to mother/disciple, to follow the mandate of Titus 2.

“As a woman’s growing desire to imitate God produces obedience to His Word, she develops mothering characteristics. Our femaleness gives us the capacity for mothering; our faith produces certain characteristics of mothering. Some characteristics we see from the Scriptures are strength, excellence, tenderness, generosity, desire to nurture, comfort, compassion, affection, protection and sacrifice. These characteristics are relational—they simply will not allow a person to be an isolationist. The possession of these characteristics creates an intense desire to nurture and be nurtured. The results in the recipients are security and fruitfulness.” ~Spiritual Mothering by Susan Hunt

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